WEAKEND BY THE LAST WEEKEND....OH NO..SHIT..DAMN!!!!

During my school days, one of the most popular themes for Essay writing was "A day when everything goes wrong". Then I loved creating the weirdest possible wrongs for the right effect on my answer script. Thirteen odd years and life had in store for me one such weekend which helped me understand the pain, heartburn, anger, despair, humour and seven other kind of emotions that those two or three pages had captured. May be I would be able to surpass my scores if they allow re-examination as now I have been enlightened after all experience is the best teacher. Ofcourse learning is a student's prerogative.I have learnt a bit and this is how the lessons unfolded one by one.

Last day of the training had dawned upon us and most of us were trying to hold back time because the Academy is the best place to enjoy once you have had sufficient sleep in the class.Nevertheless almost all of us made it to the class after a hard night's toil with the bottle and the vocal chords. It was Saturday and hence a packed schedule till we were suppposed to be packed off after noon. On entering the class I could see the girls at their chirpy best, guys discussing life and crap (can be clubbed together). However, the most interesting sight was that of a Guy studying hard amidst all the chaos. Apparently, there was an Exit Test scheduled for the day. I wondered if failures would be allowed to stay back.The test began but I was not tested at all as my knowledge was limited to the fact that there would be four options and one out of those had to be ticked. I did so and exchanged Guesses with colleagues sitting beside me. Test over and marks were announced in descending order. I found myself amongst a small group who were closest to one (not the Rank but the Score). I was still smiling and yeah that Guy is still not the MD. I wished him all the best. Hard Study will take him somewhere someday.

Then came the Quiz and six Groups were formed for the purpose. While I was waiting for the Sports and the Visual round, other groups were busy gathering 5s and 10s. Especially, we were DISMAL with DECIMALS and slowly we realised that we were given a rough deal while others were being given christmas gifts. This is a familiar territory,isn't it? We have had this kind of moments on quite a few ocassions especially during our school and college days while participating in this Quiz event or that cricket match. I agree there are a few Saints who would be saying "I never felt that way!!!!". Anyways, the results were declared and our Group won handsomely the ultimate battle of sacrifice. We started on a ZERO and we ended that way as well. Quite a departure for someone like me who has quite a few testimonials in this discipline. But we were laughing and enjoying the moment letting someone else walk away with a gift wrapped box. May be there was a Loreal hamper and so of no use to me. Finally the 2 weeks training was over and we bid adieu after exchanging a few pleasantries and ofcourse phone numbers. Here I must add that quite a few officers are in the habit of forwarding Cheesy Shayaris and I found my mobile under attack soon after. Infact, today I had to call up one such person and warn him against such practice. Yucks....Dude Get a LIfe. Create yourself and then send. You are not a Postman.

Before I deviate into Mars, let me share with you the funniest misadventure that I found myself in. It was supposed to be the day when Manchester United would take on Barcelona for the UEFA Champions League and being an avid football fan that I am, I rushed out of Patiala and checked into a hotel. I made sure that they air TEN SPORTS which normally broadcasts such matches. It was half an hour past One at night and still no sign of a sliding tackle or a free kick. I must have dozed off after that and the first thing I did Sunday morning was checking for the result. After much difficulty, I could find a headline on a Hindi News Channel that read "Aaj raat ko khela jaayega Manchester United or Barcelona ke bich UEFA Champions League Final". I burst into laughter at this and looked at my wallet.The wallet looked sad as it was going to lose some further weight. I decided to stay back to watch the match. However, my immediate concern was the examination which I had to appear in a couple of hours time. I reached the venue on time and started clicking wherever I liked to. Two hours over and I found that the Screen had a message for me. The message meant that I had fallen short by One mark and this implied that my Pay Slip won't get richer that soon as I had thought after getting good results out of the first two papers. A Grand fell out of my "JAIIB" and still I was quite composed but the jaws of the Girl sitting next to me dropped and she behaved as if she was pissed of with my performance. Well she was not concerned for me but she was rather cursing herself for trusting my answers. She was answering the Questions on the screen with one eye, the other one was at my screen ofcourse. Sorry Lady.....You are Wiser now. I took an auto and was on my way to Aroma when my friend Prashant called up to inform that Man Utd had lost. His words did what the failure in the exam could not....I WAS DEVASTATED but Lunch was still important. I had Fake Biryani and came back to the hotel. I finally managed to get an update and then cursed myself for not being there for the REDs. My hatred for Hindi News channels grew more intense that day onwards. Those buggers can count the number of Laddus that were made for Sewhag's wedding but ignore the much more important stuff. I was too tired by then and dozed off only to be awakened by a loud banging on the door. I looked at the clock and on opening the door, I found the Receptionist in an angry mood ready to unleash all her wrath on me. She informed that the Check Out time was 12 O'Clock at noon and new guest had been waiting for me to open the door. She wanted to know if I would continue my stay. I was not interested anymore and so asked her to ready the bill. By the time, I could pack and sign off, the bill had doubled. Life has taught me to take everything in stride and move on and that I did but ofcourse in an auto. I stopped by at a Cafe for some snacks.After a nice cup of coffee, I felt good and headed for my room. But then I found my Debit Card missing and the fireworks started. From SHITs to FUCKs & DAMNS and the good old OH NO as well.....the air was thick with the smoke then.I ran to the Cafe and the Manager there handed over the Debit Card with a nice smile. I thanked him and came out. Suddenly, I could feel that things have changed and the jinx is over. I decided to head to PVR instead. Loved watching Back to Back Shows. Came back at night with a nice HANGOVER 2 after fantastic KUNG FU PANDA kicks.

That was my weekend and thank God that I don't keep my hair long or else I would have pulled out all of that. But even while I was going through all these, I was in a way enjoying the randomness of the misadventures. Infact, I always love to pack my back and hit the road without a Travel Policy in place. Unpredictability is what I love and like to LIVE by.

A Book is actually judged by its cover!!!!

I picked up the reading habit very late but gradually grew comfortable with the idea of being witness to Zoya's romance with a cricketer or a chinese couple's loveless yet a strong relationship that translated into a arduous battle for survival. I am pretty naive as to make a purchase decision based on the author's name that appears on the cover. Actually, I don't know that many names from the literary world. So, more often than not I pick up a novel going by the brief that appears at the back. It is the safest option for a reader like me. Ofcourse, I cannot deny the fact that I had purchased a few novels purely because the graphics on the cover were "interesting".

Nevertheless, this post is not about what I like to read and what I don't. I just wanted to put it across to you that we often do pick up a book at its face value without having any clue about the 300 odd pages that wait for our attention. It is like judging a movie by its preview and we all know how often we have been taken for a ride. But, the adage still enjoys a nice little space in our grammer books...."DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER".

In reality though, our behaviour is contrary and we always form an opinion about any damn thing at the first sight. Sometimes our hunch is right and at other instances, we are miserably off the mark and left in the lurch to eat our own words. What do we learn out of such instances, WE DON'T CARE AND WE WILL CONTINUE TO BE JUDGEMENTAL.

Let me come to the point and explain the actual reason behind this blog. The three paragraphs that you have just read doesn't imply that the idea came late. It is just that I thought strategic delay might increase the curiosity factor provided you have survived through the words already before you. Hello, are you still there???????

I always preferred short cropped hair to the dreadful curls that I had a few years back. It seemed I always carried high tide on my head. Not knowing how to swim meant that there was always a case for drowning. I saved myself of water and of a few bucks by going for a near bald look. My visits to saloon were reduced and the investment in comb ceased to exist. It was after I joined the Bank that I thought the Bengali should turn French and here I am carrying that look ever since. But, the new look seems to have altered my character as evident from a few incidents off late.

Firstly, I was caught and apprehended by Punjab Police for suspicious movements. I was just waiting for a friend of mine outside the Training Academy. Police came and saw me standing with a duffel bag and as usual made their JUDGEMENT. To put it on record, I was neither arrested nor abused in any way. Infact, I was happy to note their pro-activeness. But little did I know that this judgement would start transforming into a popular sentiment soon. A couple of weeks back, I was in Delhi waiting in the queue for Metro. A woman JUDGED me and this time I was branded a "Pocketmaar". Thank God, she was not loud with her apprehensions. But I could not resist and burst into laughter at this. The man accompanying the lady was visibly embarassed and apologised. I again blamed the poor judgemental skills of the lady and moved on. Afterall, I knew that I had a good credibility atleast in my friends and family circle if not any where else. Nevertheless, I saw the funny side of it and got into the train. A few days later, I was at a multiplex in Bangalore and I was at the receiving end of such judgement but this time from two beautiful angels. They were seated in such a way that one of them would have been sitting beside me. But, the moment they noticed me they exchanged their seats and I found myself enjoying the movie with an uncle beside me for the entire length of the movie. Now, this was the last thing I wanted to happen to this aspirational bachelor. However, I would not have noticed my neighbours if the swap had not happened right in front of me. I REALLY MEAN IT!!!!

My father had failed to recognise me at the airport and my parents had reservations about this look since then. Now, I know that they had understood that this look might get them only Monas and Tinas as their bahu (with due respect to all the girls by those names). As for me I do wonder at times that whether Osama would have been a Saint without a beard. Vijay Mallya is still the king of good times inspite of his French beard. Ayan is still the "Goody Goody" Ayan irrespective of his beard or his hair do.

I would be a hypocrite if I conveniently ignore the fact that I do JUDGE as well. Hence, I will try to not judge people henceforth based on how they appear and hope that I am not JUDGED either. And if at all some one judges me, let their be a favourable judgment and I end up as the beneficiary. This is important for all the barbers who have a hard time when I visit them.

To conclude, ignore what I just promised as we will continue to judge the book by its cover and all that crap about not being judgemental is a sheer lie. Hoping for the best, crucial times are coming I guess. Deadline is fast approaching and time is running out. Character endorsements...any one??????

Its time for my favourite book now....FACEBOOK!!!!!

Band, Baaja, Baraat & above all...Pet Puja!!!!

Over the last few years, I have missed a quite a few family functions especially weddings. I always loved such occasions when one could meet everybody under one roof and enjoy the good times. I had been told by one of my colleagues at the Training centre that the place where I was going for my second posting at Moonak would give me quite a few opportunities to be part of weddings. Anyways, I didn't remember that but the moment I stepped into this Branch, I found that someone had come by to invite us (I was already "in" then) for one such wedding reception. One of the colleagues there told me that Punjabi weddings are very extravagant and colourful and promised us to take along. I could understand the “extravagant” bit but was not so sure about the “colourful” aspect of it. Nevertheless, the day came and I hopped into one of the hired vehicles.

On reaching there, I asked my Manager whether we have been invited by the Groom or the Bride. He informed that we are part of the Baraat. We entered the venue and couldn’t find any body seated there for all were busy at the Food Stalls savouring various delicacies on offer. I was surprised to find no trace of the Bride or the Groom. Anyways, the aroma of the food was too much to be ignored. Like a Jury member in a Science Exhibition, I visited all the stalls one by one picking up whatever I liked (actually I picked up a bit of all for the sake of my “unbiased apettite”). In a while, I also felt thirsty and headed towards the Stall where I could see lots of empty glasses. I asked them for a glass of water and the man at the counter opened a bottle of Blender’s Pride. I thanked him for his “Customer Up-gradation skills” but then I never liked Whiskey. I was about to turn around but then thought of enquiring for some Vodka. Vodka stumped that man and his face suggested that he felt abused and so without further delay I came back to join the rest of the Bankers. You do not mess around with Sardarjis and that too drunk ones. It seemed I started the flow of drinks as shortly I could see a glass in every hand except mine. I opted for some caffeine instead.

The Baraat finally arrived with lots of hungama and 100 Pipers. All d Guests gathered around the Gate to catch a glimpse of the Lead Pair. Even we waited for sometime but then they were taking an eon to move in. So, we decided to head for the Buffet Counter. With lots of hope based on the wide range of starters and fast food that we enjoyed an hour back, I checked out all and it turned out that the hosts were vegetarian. The non-vegetarian in me was disappointed for sure but even good vegetarian food is a luxury for me now. That is the advantage of being a non-vegetarian….wide choices that one has. The gulab jamuns were perhaps the best that I have had in a long time. The moment I saw them the Bengali in me screamed MISHTI……I had one then I had another and then I enjoyed a couple more.

By the time we finished eating, live on stage entertainment in the form of singing and dancing had already started. A few girls started off with Salaam karne ki arzoo hain……and then they shifted gears and rocked the stage with Sheila ki Jawaani. Now a days, Sheila and Munni always go together wherever they are invited. Here I witnessed something which I had hitherto seen only in movies….Guys coming and showering currency notes on the lead dancer and she was playing along with the young philanthropists who were evidently on a high due to her Rakhi SawantISH adaa and little alcohol. But the best part was that a Guy dedicatedly was there gathering all the notes which could not find a place in her Ghagra or Choli and fell on the stage. For Bankers like us, it was a terrible sight. Here we are struggling for deposit mobilization and here we find our prospective customer throwing away money like dirt. 9.5% interest doesn’t work here, for these people the interest lies somewhere else. That day we gained a valuable lesson. Don’t misinterpret….I don’t mean that the Bankers also should starting dancing with skimpily clothed Sheilas and Munnis.

We enjoyed ourselves till midnight and still the wedding rituals had not kicked off. We went to the stage where the couple were seated. We wished them Good Luck and got a photo clicked. One last handshake with the host and we came back. I had a good time away from the boring environs of the workplace but was dead tired especially after 143 handshakes. In Punjab, Sardarjis like to hold your hands. I hope the same is the case with beautiful Punjabi Kudis as well. On a serious note, Athithi Sewa is the best in Punjab.

A trip to a nearby Resort.....

A month had gone by since my arrival here at Burass and I had started to fit into a rural lifestyle. But, one day my Manager called and handed over to me an Invitation for "all expenses paid 2 weeks stay" at a nearby Resort. Though I had been making plans for a trip to Gurgaon for the same purpose yet it didn't matter much as I had been waiting for such opportunity to relax and enjoy the company of other such tourists. So on the 9th of January, I packed my Bags and headed towards the State Bank of Patiala Infotech Academy. I was amongst the first few people to arrive and so got the luxury of getting a two-sharing room. Here I must add that I earned that right of luxury as I struggled for almost 10 mins fighting with the lock. For a moment, I started to question my abilities. "Ayan tu ek taala nahi khol sakta toh aage toh....", well I mean life throws at us lots of major challenges and we cannot afford to surrender to such trivial issues. Just as I opened the door, my roommate also came. I greeted him and thought that someone had said it correctly.."Luck happens when preparation meets opportunity"- someone prepares and someone else gets the opportunity. Nevertheless, atleast I had met someone of my age after a while even though our thoughts and actions were totally opposite. Newton's Law doesn't apply here though and thank God for that. 

Being a sports freak, I headed towards the Badminton Court but found no one interested in a game or two. Rest of the Gang were busy socializing with each other and I started socializing with the Security Guards in their Cabin. For a couple of days, people viewed me as some sort of Alien I guess and a few of them still do I suppose. All work and no play had made Ayan a dull boy. But, gradually people started flocking to the Badminton Court and after a point it became difficult to even manage two consecutive games for the demand had outstripped the supply. Cricket was something I had been looking forward to playing and soon I discovered that a few other people shared similar sentiments. Classes...oops ....ok let me make it clear that the Resort was a Training Centre and we had gathered for our our induction training. But the facilities made it look like as if we were on vacation in some Resort. Do read between the lines as I said this keeping in mind the hardships being faced by some of us at our current place of posting.

Classes were going one well especially things were fine as I could gather sitting in the last row. I don't mean that I was sleeping. Infact I spoke, I used the ink and I clicked on the mouse as well. On a serious note, we had some good learning sessions with the faculty.

Lohri was also celebrated in the campus. Dance is such an integral part of Punjabi culture and it was in its full glory here as some of them showed their best moves. I, as usual, applauded from sidelines. Everybody dances then there won't be anyone to appreciate. Actually, I had my feet rooted to the ground.

Food was good. I have head much worse than that. Infact, I must say that the Canteen Guys took decent care of us. Not everyone can be pleased and so no complaints. There would be people who even wondered at the quantity that I carried on my plate.Yes, I was hungry Guys.

Internet Cafe was initially out of order but then was made available for us to work on our projects. There was lot of research work done at www.facebook.com for this purpose. Library was either not accessible or was not accessed by us. I am not too sure what was the actual reason. As for me, I don't enter Libraries as I am at my loudest best there. My friends from the College days would vouch for that.

Talking about the project, well yeah we were divided into groups and were asked to present on various topics. I was the leader for one of the groups. It was amusing to note the kind of seriousness with which teams were preparing. Fair enough, most of them had not been involved in such occasions before in their life. So the formal announcement made them a bit jittery. Some of us had been part of such exercises a zillion times in our Management institutes and so we took it easy. Yeah, the important differentiating factor is the group camaraderie as here we hardly knew each other. So the practice sessions were necessary. Those sessions were also helpful to break the ice though in few cases the hammer broke but not the ice. The formal presentations were made. We fought over it, we laughed over it BUT most importantly, we ENJOYED each other's company. I got nostalgic while doing the Report for the project as we used to work similarly at College. But, blogging has helped my thought-process as I compiled the report like a blog. The words just flowed. My teammates would have resorted to a Coup if I had failed to get the report ready on time. (We were just an hour late.) The presentation of our Group was well appreciated but the winners were the worthy winners.

Everyone left but I remained as I had an important business at Dhobi Ghat to be taken care of. One of my colleagues, Pranati also stayed back for the same. We had a good time at Omaxe. He departed in the evening leaving me with the TV. Monday morning, I had to leave for the fear of being thrown out.

Lots of moments were captured on camera(nothing indecent), lots of friend requests were made and lots of numbers were exchanged. Hopefully, the new Network remains Strong and Healthy.

PUNJAB FOR DUMMIES...

One month of my stay in Punjab has really given me some interesting insights which I would like to share with you Guys. Prior to that Punjab has always been a part of our conversations rather jokes. The last one I heard is as follows:

One day a Sardarji goes to a Punjabi Scholar with a question which had been troubling him for quite a while….

Sardarji: “Scholar Ji aap toh itne educated hain phir yeh bataaaiyen na ki saare jokes hum Punjabi o pe hi kyun banta hain??”

…..now the Scholar was at a loss of words and so he said that he would ask the same to Pesident Bush as the Americans know all.

The Scholar asked the same question to the President who in turn asked a question to the Scholar…”In my House, three of us live….my wife, my child and can you tell me who is the third????”

The Scholar couldn’t answer and so President said- “Its Simple, the third person is Me”.

The Scholar came back and met the same Sardarji. He then asked the same question-

….”In my House, three of us live….my wife, my child and can you tell me who is the third????”

Now, the Sardarji was clueless and so he asked for the solution. The Scholar very confidently answered…”Its Simple, the third person is Bush of course!!!!”.

Just to make my intentions clear, I do not intend to offend any of my Punjabi friends and I am sure they will take it positively for Punjabis are the most simple and fun-loving people. I have utmost respect for them and their feelings.

There are a few elements inherent to this place which are very amusing and interesting from my point of view.

Its far more easier to remember people here by name than by their faces. Because, one just needs to add a “Singh” to the first name if the person happens to be a Male or a “Kaur” if female. Believe me you will not go wrong in almost 80% cases. But the same funda would fail you in Bengal where there is a Chatterjee, a Banerjee, a Mukherjee, a Bhattacharjee, then a Chakraborty followed by thousand other surnames. Faces in Punjab are pretty confusing especially of the older lot. All seem alike. If Moustache rules South than the Beard certainly rules Punjab. I have still not paid last month’s rent as I am not able to find the landlord who is around 85 years old. I don’t find time to go to his house and seem to miss him in the crowd. Kindly note that the total population of the village would comprise of 40% Senior Citizens and another 10% who look like Senior Citizens. By the way, my Landlord’s name is Milkha Singh. He has not been to any Olympics but somehow manages to open the big gate from outside even though I keep it bolted from inside and appear at the door to start a conversation. In the last 36 days, he has sent his son to the US five times already, has built this house thrice and hosted a minister twice. I try to avoid him so that his son doesn’t get affected by acute jetlag and he himself doesn’t get broke given the inflationary pressure on the economy. That is the story of every house here. One son is in the States and he sends enough dollars back home so as to build a fortune based on the Exchange Rate. Ancestral Land has always been there and so has been the monetary benefits of the Dowry system. Besides, Power and Water are being given as freebies by the Government here.

I have been pretty bad with languages I must say. I failed to learn Khasi in 22 years and Telegu in 5 years but amazingly, I find myself at ease with this language. I have already picked up the most prominent part of the colloquial Punjabi and that happens to be a single word…”Bh@*&%$#”. The rest is just a mix of Hindi (which I already know) and authentic Punjabi. So it won’t take much time I guess. For now I just nod my head and show my teeth as a definite cover for my ignorance and definitely a false display of my understanding.

Another important thing to know about Punjab and Punjabis is the obsession with “Ji” so much so that they tend to take it as an insult if you don’t use a “Ji” at least ten times in a sentence. For them, “Raja Ji Bh@*&%$# hain” is fine BUT “ Raja Bhagwan hain” is not. I am trying to squeeze in as many JIs as possible. May be this as a practice is more prominent here in the village but still its also existent in the urban settlements nevertheless.

Coming to food, Punjab is known as much for its “Makke Di Roti n Sarson Da Saag” as also for its “Shudh Dudh n Ghee”. Have tried some Ghee but have not dared to try milk for 100% purity is hazardous to a stomach which has over the years got accustomed to all sorts of crap. Sarson Da Saag is wonderful but I cannot say the same for Makke Di Roti though. Its just plain OK. I have been to Ludhiana, Amritsar and Chandigarh and have tried non-vegetarian at quite a few places. Mutton hasn’t been that great, Chicken was Ok, Biryani was DISMAL and yet to find decent Chinese though the Chinese food at Chopsticks in Chandigarh was comparatively the best value for money experience that I had in Punjab in terms of non-vegetarian cuisine.

My weekend trips to the three cities along the under-repair Grand Trunk Road allows me to put in a word or two about these places. One interesting fact is that every major city in Punjab has a road called as “Mall Road” and predominantly that happens to be the most upscale commercial hub. Firstly, Amritsar is historically the most important city in Punjab. It has lot to offer to a tourist- Wagah Border, Golden Temple, Jalliwanwala Bagh, Ram Tirth and Vaishno Devi Temple. Most importantly, its less expensive. The kind of room for which I paid just Rs.250 cost me Rs.1200 in Chandigarh. Amritsar is trying hard to upgrade its look into a more upscale one but at this stage it has a long way to go. Next, Ludhiana is the industrial hub and expectedly full of dust and dirt. It should be renamed as “Dhuliana”. There is nothing to see here unless someone enjoys “industrial tourism”. Lastly, Chandigarh, as everyone knows, is a planned city but accolades must be given to somebody (will explain the cause of confusion) for keeping the City clean and well maintained. Here, I cannot help but draw a parallel between Chandigarh and Babri Masjid site. The Logic???....well both of these are existing in confusion. Whereas the confusion is more in case of Chandigarh, the complications are far greater in case of Babri Masjid site. Babri Masjid is disputed while Chadigarh is free of any such dispute. But just think of it- Chandigarh is the Capital of Punjab; Chandigarh is the Capital of Haryana and Chandigarh is also an Union Territory. However, Chandigarh is the most vibrant city in Punjab and is full of Youth and Beauty. I wonder why the Guys there have a major problem finding matrimonial alliance. I guess the reason would be that the Beautiful Girls are looking for a better match like….

From Inches & Feet to Debit & Credit….My First Week as a Banker.

On the 3^rd day of December 2010, my transition from a Visual Merchandiser into a Banker was initiated as I entered through the door of the designated branch of the Bank in a village called BURASS. I am saying so because the first thing that I noticed about this branch was its Header which was a Backlit Board of size 24x3 ft (approx.). The VM in me was still at work I guess. However, for all the readers and especially those people who might someday find themselves in this part of the world, let me straightway highlight the most important thing about this village and that is its name. Yeah it’s spelt as B-U-R-A-S-S but pronounced as B-R-A-S-S. Not pronouncing it as it is supposed to be could mean another 25 odd Kms extra and of course your wallet would be lighter by a Rs.500 note as I experienced. I am proud of our Banking sector that it has reached remotest of places which are beyond even Google Search Engine (forget GOD). Anyways, I managed to reach the place safe and in good shape.

I was wearing formals after a year thanks to a strange unwritten mandate whereby every employee is supposed to wear only Levi’s. I always believe actual confidence in stead of just show of confidence in the brand is the key to the success. For a Brand as great as Levi’s, there should not be any forced ideologies. Tolerance should be the way forward. If the employees don’t experience competing products, how would they value their own product? People would anyways wear Levi’s as it is the best in the business. I really enjoyed putting on a pair of Levi’s and going to work. “Enjoying the product” is crucial and that happens when you choose the product with absolute freedom. I know I am deviating from the subject but kya karein “Gyaan baatne ki aadat jo hain!!!”.

Well coming back to the dress code in the bank, I was a bit apprehensive as to whether I would be looking fine in formals (that included a borrowed belt as well…thanks Adi) or not. But when I entered the premises, I found myself overdressed. Every employee present there was least bothered about what they were wearing (perhaps ignorant of the fact that I am a NIFTian..hehe!!!) and more interested in getting the task at hand completed. I have not yet taken out the two trousers and a shirt that I had purchased for this new job.

Another thing going through my mind was the “Sir” culture prevalent in Sarkari Jobs and which is not that close to my heart as I always found “the first name culture” helps in building better relationships. However, the moment I entered, I was greeted by an elderly Gentleman who addressed me as “Beta”. The least one can do then is address the person as “Sir” as ‘Uncle” would be too un-professional. He is the Manager of the Branch. A very soft spoken and jovial person as I could understand from the interaction. He assured me that he would teach me every trick of the trade before my next posting and then introduced me to the rest of the employees. All in all, we are seven people manning the Branch.

My first task was to fill up the withdrawl forms and pay-in-slips as customers here are mostly illiterate. Customers would come and say “Katwaana hain” and that meant he/she wanted to withdraw some amount. (“Jamaa karwana hain” means “To Deposit”). One customer came and told me “Pachaas katwaana hain”. I was surprised and confirmed with him again and then proceeded to fill up the form thinking that may be he needs only fifty bucks and anyways there is no ATM anywhere close by. He took the form and presented it to cash till, the Cashier was surprised but still honoured the document by handing over a Rs.50 note to the customer. The customer was shocked and kept looking at us for a minute or so and then told us in a desperate tone that he needed Rs.50000 urgently for personal need. Before any one could raise a finger at me, other customers sprang to my defence saying that I had duly confirmed it with the customer. All of us (including the concerned customer) had a good laugh when we realized that “Pachaas katwaane ka matlab tha Pachaas hazaar katwaana”. I filled up another form for Rs.49,950 and then the customer went back home once he was satisfied with the amount. I am still struggling to get a grip over the language except the B***C*** part which has gained universal popularity.

Next I was helping people open new Accounts with the Bank and in the enthusiasm of helping people save their hard earned money, I had allowed an illiterate to be a witness to another illiterate’s Account. Luckily, I was corrected by the Deputy Manager in time. It is also funny to note that the people are more concerned about their photo on the Passbook than the Passbook or the account statement. They literally plead for their photo to be pasted on the Passbook.

Banking processes are slow in nature due to the hell lot of paperwork involved but somewhere it is impossible to cut down on the paperwork as documentary evidence is absolutely required to fight any unwanted financial or legal hassles. That is why, one has to be very alert while doing the work and hence a cup of tea is a must every hour.

My real mentor here is the Deputy Manager who is taking me through all the day to day tasks. He is ready to explain things over and over again and incase of mistakes, he points out the implications and the correct way of doing things in a very structured yet simple manner. He took me through the End of Day procedure where all the Data is transferred to a secure location. This reminded me of my days at Pantaloons where the Closing duty was loathed by everyone. Thankfully, End of Day here happens at 5 PM and not 12 AM.

I have not been able to do much on the system as yet as there is no additional one available and others can’t let me work on theirs due to the long queue of customers. But still I have learnt a few common day-to-day operations on my own.

My first Sunday here was a working day for us. Strangely, work increases automatically whenever I am around. Looking forward to this Sunday which hopefully would be in Ludhiana.

The first week was easy but things will be different next week onwards as I start assuming more responsibilities. The best part about this week was that my father sounded very happy for he can easily explain my job to friends and relatives now. He did ask me if there are any terrorists around. I told him terrorists also won’t risk coming here. There is a great chance that they might fall asleep due to boredom and get caught. My mother is more concerned about rice being absent from the diet. I told her that I am not bothered about rice at the moment. At least, Pappu has agreed to make rotis for this poor soul. Long Live Pappu….

However, it feels nice when almost every passer-by greets you as “Manager Saab”. It makes you feel that you are very important to these people. Because of limited education, they often put full faith in the decision-making of the bankers. It is a great motivation to become a Good Banker.

Note: Please read the previous post to somewhat acquaint yourself with the village where I am currently posted at.

Actor is the Same…the Set has Changed.....a Village called BURASS

If you read my next post, some of you would be painting a picture of the village called BURASS in your mind. It is located somewhere in the Fatehgarh Sahib district of Punjab. Let me pen down a few key indicators about this village as I have experienced in the first week.

1. The nearest ATM is nearly 13 KMs. away. I might have been able to save for a Car at least in the last two years had I been faced with such a situation in Hyderabad.
2. Have survived for a week with Rs.73 in pocket and in fact have opened a new Account with the Bank as well but waiting for the weekend so that I can withdraw some money from the existing accounts and put the same into the new account. Till then zero balance is fine.
3. The nearest Cyber Café is next to the nearest ATM. (Facebook updates are being affected through my mobile).
4. It’s damn cold out here but I love winters. However, I need to buy some woolens immediately.
5. It requires lots of guts and motivation to take bath with freezing cold water and that too at 7 O’clock in the morning. There is no Geyser and I don’t have an Immersion Rod. This is No.1 on my weekend Shopping List.
6. There is no Dhobi in the village. So, I have started washing the clothes myself but then what’s the use. There is no way to iron the formal clothes as well unless I think of buying an iron.
7. No breakfast available. Lunch and Dinner at “Pappu da Dhaba”. Dinner by 6.45 PM. (It fees like I am on a train…). Menu is simple… Roti and Sabzi with an occasional Omelet depending on Pappu’s mood.
8. Chicken, Meat and Fish are unheard of…looks like so. Or may be God had taken my Doc’s advice too seriously.
9. The monthly rent for the house is Rs.700 (quite a change from the Rs.7500 rent of the last house in Hyderabad). Anyways, the house is guarded by high walls on all sides. There is a provision for 6 tenants to co-exist. Currently, I am the only one there. The rest of the house is in darkness as is the approach road to the house. Hence, I finally decided to by a torch.
10. The last Bus into the village from the nearest town is at 4.30 PM and hence there is no chance of going out of the village after working hours (Yeah post 4.30…it’s referred to as “after working hours”).
11. Have not seen a beautiful girl since I left Chandigarh. Had been to Sector 17 that day and really felt good (so much to see….I mean so many stores and in fact the first store that I entered was Levi’s….as I told the VM in me wanted to check out the newest campaign on Curve ID). I wish the Desi version of “A Simple Life” was being shot here. The village would have been lit up. Oh by the way, electricity is not a problem here and thanks God for that).
12. No English or Hindi Newspapers to read. Cable is available but TV is not.

I have decided to spend every weekend away from the village. I don’t know what I will do and where I will go. For a start, today I am off to Ludhiana (to watch a movie and of course buy some woolens), next weekend I would be in Chandigarh and the one after that in Amritsar perhaps. The schedule might change depending on the training schedule which might come any moment.

However, I am enjoying the long brisk walks after office hours everyday on the nicely laid roads (thanks to Prime Minister’s Sadak Yojana) through the fields breathing in the fresh cold air that rejuvenates both the body and mind. The thrill and excitement of Pace is not there but Peace is certainly here. The best part is that everyone in the village recognizes and greets me. People are very friendly and caring here. All said and done, hoping for a quick move out of this place though.