A few words of love in reply to what you wrote………!!!

(Apologies Mr. Steve Jobs, but she is much more important to me than the APPLE. However, I will surely complete the post that I was writing on you. For now, RIP. )

A few months back, this letter would have started with these underlined words………….

TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

………………but things have changed and my options have reduced drastically. This letter is now a personal one and dedicated to only one girl. Some of you might get shocked to see this especially after having known me for ages. Let me set the record straight. I am being coaxed and cajoled into writing it and like any other wise man; I am playing it safe. So here it goes……

Shona,

Today your wish gets fulfilled SMARTY and you would find your name in my Blog. That is what you always wanted and you had to pay a huge price for this moment. The deal is heavily biased in my favour though. I just have to mention a name and for that I get the most wonderful girl on this earth. I am blessed- blessed with luck and a bit of grey matter. The deal is closed now and as we wait for a new phase of our life to start, I would like to say that it is my pleasure to write about you.

A few days back, I received a letter from you along with a book that you wanted me to read. Let’s not talk about that book today though. The words on the cover of the letter were so typical of you and I burst out laughing. I wanted to mind my own business as well but found it very difficult then. I wanted to read the letter but the ambience was not that great amidst all those borrowers, depositors and lenders. And Darls, I didn’t want to get emotional with the stink of the toilet as well. So I waited and finally managed to read it at home that night. Your honesty is perhaps what drew me close to you and that was pretty evident again in the words that you chose for me in your letter.

Love @Speed of Light……not the latest bestseller by Mr.Bill Gates but our relationship as you defined and as I agree. It happened so quickly. I was surprised to get a friend request from you on Facebook in the first place. Life is so unpredictable and there in lies its beauty. Shona we were destined to meet and it is amazing to note that just a year back, you were only a number in one billion. I was happy working with Levi’s in a different part of the country. Times changed and I had to join Satate Bank of Patiala. I was not happy and always felt that there was something better in store for me. God played his/her (Say NO to Gender Discrimination) amazing HAND and you walked, rather stormed into my life. Thanks to the Bank, life is good. I also need to thank your friends and my batch mates for if they had not said those good words about me, you wouldn’t have got interested in me I guess. You are an OPPORTUNIST and I am so grateful to God for making you that way.

“….........……it's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away!!!!!!!!”

I am just a mortal being and my words are neither divine nor magical in any sense of the imagination but only those words got us closer to each other. Initially, we talked and then you read my blog and then we flirted. But whatever I said to you perhaps revealed me as a person before you and you felt like you found your man. You were absolutely right…lol. I was shocked when you said that you mentioned me as your fiancée just to get someone off your back. And the funniest part was that you called me up after that and asked for my permission as if you would have gone back to say that “…nahi ji, thoda sa confusion ho gaya tha. Mera mangetar actually Ayan nahi Milkha Singh hain!!!!”. You are crazy and that is endearing.

We met a couple of occasions on training but then we never exchanged words apart from that attempt of yours when you tried to start a conversation in class but I pissed you and you friend off with my “ATTITUDE”. “Yeh ladka kya samajhta hain apne aapko!!!”…that was how your friend reacted perhaps. Shona if I had not reacted that way at that time then I wouldn’t have been writing this letter to you now. Some PEOPLE thought about me but tuney toh bich mein bhaanji (not niece) maardi. Oh I can’t forget those grilling sessions over phone when you would probe me like a FBI official does to a suspect. You were so desperate to get something out of me and even I could not stand against your might. I gave in and thank God that I did. We hit it off right there and we have been in this wonderful relationship since then.

You did not believe in long distance relationships and I never cared for any kind irrespective of the kilometres. I just can’t believe that it was so smooth and easy. Kudos to both of us for handling this so maturely but now we have to be much more careful. Let this wonderful thing get more magical. I have never told you that you are so like the woman that I always thought of getting married to. You are smart, intelligent, sweet, not loud, you carry yourself very well, you are not those sissy types, you enjoy humour, you like sports (ek ghar mein kam se kam Tulsi nahi aayegi…GREAT) and your honesty is infectious. Shona come down now….bahaut ud li …yeh sab likhna padta hain re…khud ke image ke liye…samajh na…lol.

I hope I have kept my promises till date and would love to keep you happy in future too. Things are working out and need you to be with me forever. The journey is going to be difficult but then together we can make it worthwhile. I hope there would be lots of “I Love You”and a bit of “Whatever!!!” from you in this life and that would be exciting.

I can’t believe that you brainwashed me into doing this. Adi says that you are so “Bholu”, but only I have seen the devilish streak in you. But then your mom loves me more than she loves you and I will call her more often now by reducing our talk time…hehehe. Awwwwww……thik hain….chal I will not reduce the talktime but then may I ask-“ Which fish curry are you cooking today????”……hahahahaha.

I won’t make this any longer. Anyways you are not studying for the exam. Zindagi bhar main nahi sun sakta ki merey vajah se tu fail ho gayi thi…chal, u tell me if you are happy with whatever I wrote for you.

I am so glad that you are with me and that we would be spending the rest of our lives together. I am indeed lucky to have you (you can copy paste these lines to your comment below…I know u mean all that). Be the way you are…of course you can age but always remain that honest girl who I just can’t do without.

It’s only a matter of days now. Till then, I would miss being with you but in the meantime you can spend some good time in the kitchen and I can spend some good time drawing out a list of my favourites on the dining table…hahahaa. LOVE YOU…GUL.

Yours faithfully (…I know you wanted this)

Ayan

Note: SHIT….can’t believe that I wrote this….hopefully she does not ask me to sing next time. Love is Dangerous!!!!

BEAR-IT (on) MATRIMONY.....!!!!

……“ The kind of girl you want is perhaps going to be damn difficult for us to find. So why don’t you find one for yourself???” That was a cue for me from my Aunt to register on Bharat Matrimony. I have always been hopeless offline and so I thought maybe I should start my hunt for a partner with blessings from Internet Baba. I have always found Matrimony websites funny for some reason. I had seen the plight of a few acquaintances of mine who had ventured into that territory. You are interested in people who are not interested in you and you decline those who are interested in you. I know….ITS CONFUSING. That’s what they told me but I thought that the second part of the sentence was just an after-thought on their part. Anyways, I put in a few lines for myself in a hurry and was ready for the adventure. My friend Shiladitya is more of a seasoned campaigner (with a very bad Strike Rate) in this and he rubbished my profile saying that even Ugly Betty won’t be impressed. He invited trouble and so he had to invest his time to do a makeover on my profile. I briefed him and the AD Campaign came out fine but then Sale is not that exciting. His fees (wedding gift) would be on hold till I achieve my target. He would agree though that I have selflessly passed on many profile IDs to him for consideration and something might work out soon. My pre-condition was that he and his bride would take their vows only when I give a green signal. Till the time I manage a leave, they would have to hold on. Before Shiladitya spills the beans, I might as well inform you that I did raid his shortlist and walked away with few IDs. He did the same but unfortunately for him, my Shortlist was quite short and his was a Directory.

My first impression of Bharat Matrimony was that it is nothing short of HORROR SHOW. I am not commenting on the looks but the cosmetics that cover up the real self in one's profile, whether intentionally or sub-consciously. Firstly, the third picture is what you should go by and don’t fall for what you see at first sight. Secondly, you would find a few girls who are so broad-minded that they want their prospective partner’s income to be anything between ten lakhs and one crore. Then, there are profiles where you find the girl contradicting herself every second sentence. Just think if your wife is behaving that way. Confused Husband makes a marriage peaceful but a confused wife is a recipe for disaster. Most beautiful girls are looking at US as their Sasural and they are hoping that the wedding card turns green soon. I am sure even the male profiles would throw up some funny insights. In all fairness, even the opposite sex must be having issues with a certain percentage of male profiles. But, I have not tried to find such profiles as I don’t need to. Remember, I log in to Search and not to Research. Just a few days back, Shiladitya’s mom also reiterated the same and said that it is really taxing to find a genuinely good profile. The most frustrating part is that every day you get a mail regarding probable matches out of which only a couple would have a photograph. If you like the photograph, you click and you are automatically redirected to the concerned profile. In case you don’t like the profile, you log out. And here begins the fun. You are not logged out completely and instead you are taken to a page with four profile pictures. It so happens that one picture always seems interesting and the moment you click, the whole exercise begins again. Thank God, I did not register for the paid service. Adi……dude, you should continue to be a paid member though. As your friend, I would like you to keep at it and keep me interested as well…lol.

This post won’t be complete if I don’t share an interesting experience that I had recently. While creating my “Partner Preferance”, I forgot to select the appropriate option in CASTE and my profile reflected “CASTE NO BAR”. Adi had gone to my aunt’s place and while he was taking them through my profile, they happened to see this. There was no reaction then but things turned funny when Adi suggested one profile to them. He apparently knew that girl and he was confident that the girl would have been a good match for me. Caste was an issue here though. At night, I received a call from my parents about this girl. They said that I need to be careful while choosing profiles as marriage has a huge social connotation as well. I told them that I do not believe much in caste issues and all I want is a good girl who fits my preferences and who would take good care of them as well. As long as there is good upbringing, compatibility, trust and understanding in marriage, rest doesn’t matter. I told them that nobody would drag me into Saat Pheraas just because I expressed interest in some profile. Bharat Matrimony is just the beginning, commitment is done offline. Net Marriages are yet to take off here. I can’t but the posterity might. I convinced my parents and they got convinced for they realised that I made sense. Happy people make happy society and not vice versa. Since I had never spoken at length with my parents regarding marriage before that day, my lecture set the alarm bells ringing and they thought that THIS WAS A SETUP. Adi’s visit to my aunt’s place was now being viewed as a way to ease the girl into the family. My parents, aunt and uncle tried their best to get something out of me. They couldn’t get anything out of me as I had nothing to hide. That girl was a stranger to me as well. I didn’t pursue the matter further and the girl was not interested either. Few days of strange conversations with parents but “aall is well” now. My father admitted that this was his first experience with online matrimony. I assured him that I will guide him all the way through till I touch his feet with some girl beside me. However, I know that he prefers the conventional mode but can’t help given the preferences that I put down before him. Besides, he does not use internet and so my profile has my aunt’s number.

I am more in sync with my aunt and she has an amazing skill of convincing people. Adi removed my number because he felt I would scare people away by the way I speak. Apparently, you have to be very formal with a girl’s parents initially. In his case, this has worked to an extent. His dad is preparing the ground for him but the poor soul is being scared away by the Girls. He calls up and says “Bhai oi meye taar shonge aar kotha bolbo na” (Bro I am not speaking to that girl again). My aunt and Adi are two people who I can trust with this job and they know their job well. Adi though has to protect his interests as well even though our passwords are known to each other. We believe in team work, I believe in team and he does the work. As for my aunt, I asked her not to let my uncle get that excited. He had started expressing interest to any profile (even those that had no photos) that had the word “Shillong” in PLACE OF BIRTH. Off late though, even Bharat Matrimony has got tired and keeps repeating probable matches. Adi had a couple of shockers and both of us are taking a much needed break now.

Otherwise our telephonic exchanges last couple of months had been only about this girl and that girl. We found it so funny to note the way our conversations had changed over a period of time. Earlier we used to talk about soccer, movies, food, job, girls ofcourse and life in general.  Now our conversation got crunched between BHARAT and MATRIMONY. There is almost paranoia involved. Every action back at home and by family members smell of some conspiracy. My aunt really wanted me to be in Hyderabad for Durga Puja and I sensed something fishy about it. I am going anyways, be it for Pooja or Puja. A couple of days back, my sister enquired with Shiladitya about his cousin sister and he felt that it was for matrimonial purpose again. Marriage is like anaesthesia…you go numb and before you realise, you are done for your life. Still, going under the knife is necessary. (might sound poor but the copyright to the underlined words belong to me...hehehe).

Marriage is inevitable and Bharat Matrimony is an option. Hopefully, some girls will read this blog and upload profiles to express interest online. I have time and anyways it is Adi who is definitely getting married first going by the level of activity back at his home.I have a couple of things planned for his marriage too. It would be fun. Oh Adi you have read this…shit…now you are going to re-direct any interesting profile to me. Fine, I can’t stop you from doing that. Before I close, I would like to share a joke that I heard from my Manager   yesterday. It goes this way………

SON: Papa…..Shaadi mein kitni kharch hoti hain???????

FATHER: Betey…abhi kaise bataaoon…kharch toh chal hi rahi hain!!!!!

ALMEIDA.....SORRY....PAKKA NA...& THE THREE MUSKETEERS...(PART 2).

Well I am back. Whoever has read the first part, I hope you have liked it. If Day 1 was anything to go by then I must add that we had no clue as to how surprising the remaining days were going to be. It was one hell of a Roadtrip. From pure joy to a few unpleasant hiccups along the way, we experienced it all.  But the spirit of the trip was in taking everything in stride and moving ahead in our Joyride. Day 1 over and I woke up as usual before anyone else did.

DAY 2

The day began with me trying to persuade Adi and Ron to get up. But soon things heated up and we had a fight…..A PILLOW FIGHT. We got tired and this meant that it was time for some good Breakfast. Did I use the word “Good”????? As far as I am concerned, any Breakfast is good breakfast if it is available. It started to rain but we were on our way to CHAPORA FORT. The drive was a good one but we lost our way. Goa Police for some reason were very courteous and we were going back to where we had come that far. We were unstoppable Guys and Ron had to push a lot for us to reach where we had to. The car could not take it anymore and it had an asthmatic attack. After some first aid, it was taken back to Calangute. We could not reach Chapora Fort but we managed to have a nice lunch though. A bit of lazing around in the beach and we found ourselves attracting eyes of people who took pity on three Stags. But we had something else in our minds and that was the Car which was supposed to replace the ailing one. Our faith in the popular saying, “Every dark cloud has a silver lining”, got reinforced again as the replacement was much better and it had Stereo as well. Finally, Adi and Ron got to listen to some good music but they kept on insisting that they still preferred my singing. Guys…I love you. I am so emotional that I need to move on. The best option was AGUADA FORT and we were very keen to check that place out after coming across a picture of that place on Google. We went there and enjoyed all the clicks but that picture seemed to be a morphed one. There was nothing like that but we never bothered and headed towards the Lighthouse after some fooling around on the way. We climbed up and the moment the gasp of wind struck us there, we knew this was a special place. The world seemed so beautiful and so calm. Half a day got wasted but it was worth it. Evening set in and Ron took us to INFANTRY. Once a soldier always a soldier but we really found a couple of Bombs there. We survived the mediocre music as our focus was somewhere else. Reached back hotel quite late yet the DELL Brothers had enough time to upload the first set of pictures on Facebook.

DAY 3

I woke up early again but this time I had a trip to DUDHSAGAR WATERFALL in mind. However, the hotel staff informed that incessant rains had made that place inaccessible. In fact, they suggested another waterfall and taking that cue we hit the road. HARAMBOL( or ARAMBOL) WATERFALL can be easily missed as it is off the road and the Goa Tourism Department couldn’t afford a decent Signboard for such spectacular scenery. As we approached the waterfall, we were greeted by the roar of water gushing down the hills. Water was falling like milk and we stood there as mute witnesses to the sheer force of nature on display. Our next destination was CHAPORA FORT and this time we were not going to go back. But we stopped by on our way as we discovered a cave that had no visitors. It was just another cave till that day but now it remains as a witness to the most memorable part of our journey. We went crazy there like three kids jumping around and unmindful of all the issues of life. We shot SINGHAM our way and later that day released for select audience on Facebook. The sight of Chapora Fort brought alive the adventurers within us and we did a good bit of climbing up and down the steep hills. The rocky terrain made it all the more difficult especially for me as I was in my slippers. All that effort was worth it for the Fort provides a fantastic view of the shore line. The best part about these places is that you are far from the maddening crowd. We were quite tired by then and decided to head back to the hotel for some much needed rest. Ron had arranged a dinner invitation for us at his friend’s place and we were more than delighted to accompany him. The dinner was awesome and Desmond and his family are real cool. Post-dinner they took us to ST.ANTHONY’S, a Karaoke Club at Baga Beach and we sang till the dead of the night. We enjoyed singing there and the crowd applauded to the voice of the Three Musketeers. I guess we sing like stars when we have our backs to the audience. It was time to call it a day and we literally had to drag Ron out of the good conversation that he was having with a beautiful Lady and away from his drink.

DAY 4

It was time to leave North Goa behind and head to the southern part of the state. It apparently had the most number of secluded beaches and so we wanted to check that out. However, the picture of AGUADA that attracted our attention a couple of days back still remained fresh in our minds and so while checking out of the hotel, we showed that picture to the hotel staff. They told us that it was by the Taj Resort and so were there at the Taj Resorts within the next half an hour. For a moment I was delighted to see such a large crowd there. It meant that a huge percentage of population has moved up the ladder of affluence. In reality though, half of Gujarat had thought that this was the best (cost-effective) time to visit Aguada Fort Resort. We didn’t want to get lost in the crowd and hence we were soon on our way to PANJIM. After a few clicks at DONA PAULA, we were ready for the religious part of the trip. Old Goa still has the old world charm and hopefully it stays that way. A few moments of prayer in silence at ST.FRANCIS & we were all set for PALOLEM in South Goa. But before that, we had to grab some good lunch. I had been told that MUM’S KITCHEN is a great place and I must say that this is one place which should be there in your itinerary. Racheido was great and Beef Curry was out of the world. It beat the Chilly Beef that I had in Kerela and that was awesome as well. The interiors, ambience, food, service and people especially a couple of them were so wonderful that Adi wanted a different table for himself. We were in for some interesting times then onwards as the next phase of our journey didn’t go as planned. Firstly, Palolem was too “secluded” for us to have any fun and secondly, the hotel sucked big time. Cleopatra was not admirable for once. For God’s sake, there was no free Wi-fi either. We managed that night by playing pool (or was it snooker????).

DAY 5

We decided to move to Panjim at the earliest and in our hurry we forgot to settle our bills at the hotel. We realised soon enough though and went back to the hotel even though we were damn hungry. We ran out of cash and no ATM was in sight. Finally, we found an ICICI Bank ATM at CUNCOLIM and barged into the restaurant that was just opposite. After all this, there was no breakfast on the menu but we were in no mood to walk away even if that meant stuffing ourselves with Chicken Noodles at that time of the day. I am glad that we went there because I have not had such good noodles since I moved out of North-east.  The trip to Palolem might not have been good but the drive was fantastic and highly recommended. Back to Panjim, we stopped by Miramar Residency to find a good hotel and ended up checking into Miramar Residency itself. It’s a decent hotel and facilities are good considering the fact that it’s a Government initiative. Panjim is not that lively as compared to Calangute and Baga. There was not much to do in the evening hours. So we went shopping at the local market. How can it be that Ayan and Adi get together and they don’t go for a movie??? We convinced Ron and three of us were at the Box Office of one of the dullest INOX that you could find. At the counter was a couple who had bought tickets for “SAHI BANDEY, GALAT DHANDEY”. They required three more people to ensure that the Show doesn’t get cancelled. Three of us were God sent for them and we didn’t disappoint them. They suggested a good restaurant named APPA HOUSE, or so we heard. UPPER HOUSE is a great place for food, though Adi found the crab to be crap. Our soldier, however, never wastes anything especially after some Rum on the rocks. Day 5 ended on a good note and we were hopeful that the penultimate day would be memorable as well.

DAY 6

And yeah we won’t forget Day 6 and our trip to TPS Resort ever. It was here that we got to know the difference between “White on Black”, “Yellow on Black” and “Black on Yellow”. It was funny and exciting. Adi especially enjoyed his time and moreover, he got to know how a swimming pool looks like. From there we went back to Candolim where we changed our vehicle and this time we got XYLO as a replacement. Lunch was at “WHAT THE FOOD??” and I had to say “WHAT THE F%@K??”  for GOAN POMFRET VINDALOO. Rest of the food was good though. We reached Panjim back by 5 P.M. and this was a good time to sit on the beach and relax. Ron did relax while Adi and I fooled around in water. The day ended on a great note with a dinner at PAN ASIAN BOWL and then a nice walk with my best buddies where we relived our college days and the best moments from this ROADTRIP. Next day we boarded our flights with the promise that we must get back again soon and perhaps in SIKKIM next time around. I know how we plan and so won’t mind NEPAL, LEH & even THAILAND.

To Adi and Ron, I will cherish these moments lifelong and I hope we get such opportunities off and on. If you guys found my behaviour or words offensive sometimes, I REALLY DO NOT CARE. Goa is a great place but good company is all that matters and both Adi and Ron had one in me…HAHAHA!!!

ALMEIDA.....SORRY....PAKKA NA...& THE THREE MUSKETEERS...(PART 1).

There are a few moments in your life which remain etched in your memory for ever and those moments are so special that every time you recall these, a smile surfaces in your face. The nostalgia brings with it a feeling of rejuvenation and some sort of assurance that there are people in your life who won’t mind having you around. Last week I was part of something special and that was a ROADTRIP across Goa with two very special friends of mine. The seeds of this vacation were sown around three months back but even after a number of conference calls and exchanges over email and Facebook, nothing seemed concrete. But as I say, “when you want to holiday in Goa so badly, the entire universe conspires to make it happen for you”. Amazingly, everything fell into place one by one and all that happened in a very short span of time. We were mentally prepared and so being on board a flight was just a formality. We had been warned that this time of the year was not ideal for a Goa Trip due to monsoons but who cares when you have good company. Moreover, this trip had a special importance for we bachelors as our wings would get clipped soon, atleast all the signs imply so.

Adi was the first to reach Goa and I joined him in an hour’s time. Ron however managed to get late by a day. The drive from Dabolim Airport to the hotel in Candolim  reminded me of Shillong especially because of the greenery all around. No Guys I am not talking about Girls here, it is just that Monsoon Rains washed away all the dirt and the nature was at its magnificent best. The well maintained roads really helped in extending a great welcome to the guests who came from all over the world. For a tourist hotspot, first impression is very important and this is not being given appropriate attention at least in cities like Guwahati and Jaipur.

I have so much to share (Adi and Ron….Guys don’t give me that look). But somethings are best left to imagination. A few moments define an experience and those moments should remain personal. Those moments strengthened our friendship and a couple of decades from now would give us a reason to smile. Then we would proudly say to posterity, “I HAVE TWO FRIENDS WHO MADE MY LIFE SPECIAL”. Now that I have written this, Ron & Adi would have to agree to it as well. I am available over phone incase there is any kind of disagreement Guys!!!! We had decided to not plan our Roadtrip and so it became necessary to buy a Tourist Map for navigation in a self-driven car. In a few hours time and after a few navigational errors, the map was put to use for a different purpose and Ron took out his Xperia. At that moment our ROADTRIP turned into a TECHNOTRIP. Ron was the Navigator (GPS aided , Adi was taking care of what was in front while I was appreciating what we were leaving behind. Mine of course was the most important task after all ENJOYMENT was all that we had come for and I did not let them down. Let me put forward day wise account of our journey and I hope you Guys enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed experiencing the sights, sounds and much more in Golden Goa.

DAY 1

Ron’s flight was getting delayed and so we hired a Wagon R and headed to the local market to buy shorts. After several rounds of the market, both of us came back to the car with a pair of short each. We changed in the car itself and headed to the BAGA BEACH. Initially, I was disappointed to see the huge crowd that had gathered. I wondered if it was really an off-season there. Soon we started to attract eyes……..eyes of vendors selling false tattoos and earrings. But they had to leave disappointed as I have a real Tattoo and I couldn’t have gifted those earrings to Adi. By the time we could finish our Telescopic Beach Survey, Nature Called me. I started looking for a place to answer the same but unfortunately the place had no walls. So I decided to walk into the Beach Café but I could see the Guy at the counter was not pleased. I was there in Goa for a pleasure trip and hence went across to him and ordered two cups of coffee. After relieving myself, we made ourselves comfortable outside in the chairs that were provided. Suddenly, I realised that the wallet had been left inside the car itself. Thankfully, Adi had also forgotten his pack of Cigarettes and it just required me to prod him once and he was gone like an abiding friend. The Coffee cost us hundred bucks. I must say Sulabh should start a similar service. Cross Selling anyone??????? …CAFÉ SULABH SHAUCHALAYA…..RELIEVE YOURSELF & REJUVENATE YOUR SOUL!!!! I won’t discuss business here as I don’t like mixing Business with Pleasure and this trip was purely Pleasure. Anyways, our next destination was ANJUNA BEACH. Anjuna is actually less of Beach and more of rock formations ideal for all Jacks & Roses who couldn’t find any corner of the ship to stretch their arms. For Adi and Ayan though, it was just another place where we click each other and then find a couple whom we can interrupt and request for a photograph. The Guy has to agree as how can he refuse two innocent Guys an opportunity to capture a good moment in their friendship. We leave happy and he scores some good points before his girl as well. At Anjuna, we met Mr.Karan and knowing him was really an education for us. Anyways, that is a long story which perhaps would find a place in my book if ever I manage to write any. But for now, I have reasons to skip it. We headed back to the hotel and after some rest, decided to go a for a nice dinner at Tito’s. Ron apparently had a prior commitment and so he punctured the tyre of the car he had hired at the airport. We were too smart for his Bullshit. We know each other very well.As a punishment, Ron was asked to meet us there itself. Tito’s is in a lane where perhaps every young man keeps his eyes wide open. So Adi jumped ahead and took the best seat in the house while me and Ron strained our shoulders. But once the Kingfish was there on our table, I forgot the rest of the world. Beer has never been my favourite but CORONA was something different. They squeezed in some lemon into the bottle and it really tasted good. If any of you visit that place, remember to ask for Mr.Mohanty. You might get 30% off on your bill…lol. We celebrated our much-awaited reunion and ended the day with a trip down memory lane through our post-dinner conversation in our hotel room.

This post is going to be a big one and so I would break it into two parts. We will start from Day 2 in the next post. Till then have a good time.

KIDS ARE NOT KIDS ANYMORE...WE WERE NAUGHTY & ADVENTUROUS!!!!

Just a couple of days back, I happened to find myself engrossed in a discussion with a couple of friends thanks to the “thought stimulant” that we were holding in our hands. The discussion was on Social Media which apparently is a topic of particular interest to my friend Vikas for his PHD. I would not like to talk about it today but instead this post would centre around my observations about life when we were kids and the contrasting lifestyle of kids these days. I can’t help but get nostalgic when I revisit my childhood days. A piece of wood for a cricket bat, piece of paper for a ball, newspaper for  pads, winter gloves  for cricketing gloves and a pine cone for football. The idea was to enjoy outdoors with limited resources as much as possible till you hear those familiar words…”Ayan if you are not coming home in another  5 minutes, you might as well stay out!!!!”.

Television did not mean much to us except on Sundays and that too for a few hours. Yeah somehow she used to turn into one Great Temptress every night the moment I used to pick up a book. I am sure the same holds true for others as well. Stealing a few glances at her used to be exciting. “Home” then meant parents, food and sleep. Parents were taken for granted and a few slaps occasionally did not matter much. Amazingly food was only a necessity when I would be home and sleep used to sneak in just before dinner. Next day I hardly used to remember what I had eaten. Life was exciting because of the time spent out of doors with friends doing all the crazy stuff. School was fun but then the moment the bell rang, we used to rush out through the gates and by the time we would knock on the door, the school uniform would be in our hands except for the pants of course. No one wanted to waste time for the days are short in that part of the world. Swabhiman and Junoon would be on at that time but still I never missed the sound of footsteps running down the stairs. It would be time to run out and enjoy the company of friends doing all kinds of stuff. Running down the hills or climbing the hill like Soldiers, Rock Climbing, taking the air out of tyres of vehicles parked in our cricket ground, collecting money to build shelter and buy chains for stray dogs, cricket matches  against teams from the neighbourhood, horror story sittings, venturing out during Curfews to stealthily move from one house to another and occasionally picking up the broom during neighbourhood cleaning drives. Weekends would be special but a bit difficult too as Dad would be home. Friends coming over and asking permission from my Dad for me to be allowed to join them.  My Dad never objected as I would be unusually behaving very well since the morning hours. The same act would be repeated every weekend and in atleast ten odd houses with near cent percent success rate. We were so proud of our intelligence. But now I realise “Baap toh akhir Baap hi hota hain”. Our parents knew that it is very important for a kid to get such group exposure out of the four walls as these teach him/her to face challenges, value relationships and above all enjoy amidst Nature. This stage of life (like any other) never comes back and even money cannot buy such moments of innocent fun at a later stage in life.

As I see my young cousins and other kids now, their definition of “Fun” has changed. Cartoon Network, Playstation, Facebook and even Saas-Bahu sagas are all that they care about. The reason being given is…Where is the Time and Where is the Space????? It is so unfortunate that the young kids are asked to compile tons and tons of notes on the pretext of homework and as a result of which the evening hours are lost. Kids should be prepared for life and not for some IIM or IIT. Life is a bigger challenge. As for "Space", I agree that concrete jungles have made it difficult but fun is not a slave of any reason. Even finding space could be an exciting activity and trust me as a kid there is no greater feeling when you see that your effort has yielded some positive result. When we were kids, we have been chased out of grounds so many times but yet we managed to find some space or other. Parking Lots, terraces, Prayer Grounds, Girl School Grounds and roads…we have been all over the town. I still remember that Bowling used to be such a tough task especially when you were running uphill and the Batsman just needed to push for the ball to run down the hill at the speed of light. The funniest part would be to retrieve the ball which would enter the shop of a shrewd man or sometimes into the house which used to be guarded by Rambo or sometime into the nearby jungle full of prickly plants. Infact, once the ball had fallen into a stream which had more mud than water. I was trying to locate the ball from the bridge above and my slippers fell off. I got down and retrieved my slippers but had to return home immediately as I had a mud bath there. My mom had to throw away both parts of the scale later. Now a days in SPAs , they charge a bomb for the same treatment.  

Today kids are more detached and relations do not matter much to them. Shooting down some terrorists or reaching the finish line first in some virtual game gives them thrill. It is ironical that kids who have got good life, they do not have “Life” at all. Cartoon Network is more of an addiction and Friends are all those who are on their list. Violence is something which they are exposed to at such an early age and it freaks me out when I hear them speak. So mature for their age that I myself feel like a “kid” before them. They hardly know their relatives and their world ends with whatever they are comfortable with. They get their mobile phones so early and yet their World is a small one. The very idea of communication loses out. Grammar is no longer a subject in the school syllabus and texting has further made things worse. They have Tennis Courts and Swimming Pools and yet only a few kids avail themselves of such facilities. Moreover, those kids go there to be an athlete and not to enjoy. Any activity that a kid indulges in stinks of some competitive spirit which gets drilled into little heads by their parents. They are forced to jump into d rat race when they ought to enjoy without any burden. We used to be dragged out of grounds and now the kids are being dragged to the grounds. The day they themselves run to the ground without any fear of losing, the society would come alive again. Cmon Kids…..BREAK SOME FLOWER POTS!!!!!

Chandigarh….as I see from my Balcony!!!!

If you have read my previous posts, you would know that my current job (just 7 months old) has taken me to places which are not known to 90% Indians. So I was delighted to find that my last training was to be at Chandigarh especially because all this while I had been coming to the City on weekends and staying in hotels just to avoid being “BORED”. I said Good Bye to Moonak and its good people (except Mr. Jindal) and headed towards the best city in this part of the world. I reached in the afternoon dead tired after spending 3 hours in a Non-AC taxi. But on reaching the destination, I was pleasantly surprised at being offered a glass of Nimbu Paani by the Lady who is now my Landlady thanks to Shalinder (my Colleague). I was in a hurry and so dumped my bags in one of the rooms and rushed to the airport to board a flight to Bangalore. My friend Shiladitya was there in Cochin waiting for me to join him on a short vacation. It was a wonderful trip and Kerala truly deserves the tag “God’s Own Country”. After a few days of fun, I took a flight out of the God’s Own Country and came back to Land of Goddesses. I am still confused as to how a small city has so many beautiful Girls. A meticulously planned and beautiful city surely deserves beautiful citizens but then this could be a good thesis for any PHD student.

Let me come out in my Balcony or else you might take the word “BORED” seriously. My first morning here at Sector 32-A gave me a chance to get the feel of the city albeit from my Balcony. I suddenly woke up to a lot of noise outside and it seemed that I woke up in time for Lunch. Being late on the first day itself would not have been a good start and so got up to check what was happening. Two continuous rows of buildings with a well paved lane in between; I felt as if I was abroad. Lot of People out on the street walking, quite a few engaged in Balcony to Balcony conversations and a good number of cars ready to be driven. One man giving a good Massage to his father and a couple of Guys waiting below a building waiting for someone to come out on the Balcony. May be they too had some Message to give to someone special. I came back in and checked time. It was only 7A.M. When you have such wonderful society parks and good roads that lead to the parks, everybody would like to enjoy a good walk. I just came back after a nice walk too and today was my first time but sadly tomorrow is perhaps going to be my last day here. Anyways, I started enjoying just standing there in my Balcony for an hour or so observing as life unfolds before my eyes while some good music plays on my phone.

Every morning I am greeted by the sight of an old lady coming out and offering water to the Sun God and then a kid comes out from another house and does the same thing. Sometimes they come out at the same time and it is a wonderful sight. Just then you would also find a group of people riding cycles at some distance and hurling something at the houses as they ride along. This is how the scene would be if you imagine that alien forces have invaded Sector 32-A. It happens so fast and with so much precision that it could be near fatal to anyone who would open the door at that time. Especially, beautiful girls should avoid coming out in the Balcony or at least they should first get their face insured. I was kept out of the harm’s way by my Landlady. She never let me subscribe to the newspaper by keeping the Gate closed till the time these Delivery Boys went out of sight. Nevertheless, I get my daily dose of corruption, murder and inflation at the Office.

The next thing that attracts your attention is the range of four wheelers on display. From Nanos to Audis, all are in the neighbourhood and co-exist peacefully without any ego issues. Audis though struggle to find space and the Gates are kept half-open to keep the asset secured. Even a scratch would break the heart of people like me who love the brand so much. For the owners, that won’t matter much. Every day washer men come and clean each car without any racial discrimination. They have a schedule and do their job perfectly.

While you are appreciating the cars, a girl walks past at the speed of light. I have not seen any Girl walk that fast. She apparently goes to the Society temple every morning. Either she doesn’t want to lose even a minute out of her prayer time or she might have someone waiting at the temple. Forget the conspiracy theories of my devilish Brain and let us appreciate the fact that she goes to the temple at least. She has such long hair that her fast movements make her knotted hair swing like a wind-mill. Now that was not a great example but you might have understood what I meant.

Once Chotu comes riding on his cycle to collect Tiffin boxes, I know that my time on my Balcony is up for the day and I have to rush for office. Before I sign off, let me share very important information with you all. Ranbir Kapoor lives opposite my Building and he is always in “Jabse tere naina……” mode. It is his misfortune that I live opposite to him. The star within him needs a camera. Should I take a photo and upload????? No, my Blog is much more important than his aspirations wrapped in a towel. I will miss my Balcony and Chandigarh of course. The next post would be from some new place….c ya soon.

BEAUTIFUL...that's how my day began today!!!!

The hour hand had barely crossed Eight in the morning and I was ready for office. For those who don’t know me much, being at my desk by 9 AM is a sea change considering my work hours in my previous job with Levi’s. There I had the entire Charminar City for my office and I would be at work the moment I logged in to my laptop. So I could work from home in the morning and then venture out by 10AM. However, this practice had changed since Shiladitya (my friend) joined me in Hyderabad and we would be out by 9AM to stuff ourselves with some vadas and a cup of tea. It was more of an exercise than breakfast I would say. Here my sole purpose for reaching early is the comfort of the Air Conditioner that allows me to enjoy my first cup of tea as I glance through the newspapers. I found it really funny when I realised that in my previous role, my final Bye would be to the Security Guard and in the current one, he is d first one to be greeted by me. 

Let me not get into further details and instead stick to the theme of this post. Rain clouds had gathered and it started to drizzle. Having experienced a near fall a few days back while trying to avoid the puddles, I told myself that it is better to move rather than stick around and get drowned in the pool that others call the By-lane. So here I was by the roadside waiting for an auto and then SHE CAME. Not the auto but an angel who perhaps had forgotten her way and came my way. I was rendered speechless by the magnificence of her beauty. Honestly, at that moment I could only remember one of my all time favourite songs..... “When I saw you standing there….” -by Lobo. There was no Chair and neither did I fall but I did surely feel the Blood go to my feet. She had not spoken though. Sun was shining bright and no signs of any rain in the air. I had come out for a casual morning walk on a holiday and had all the time in the world to stand there under the shade of the tree which had been perfectly planned and planted by Mr.Corbusier. But just then a rude sound eclipsed the Sun, brought in the rains and I again found myself waiting for an auto to reach office at the earliest. As I was being dragged into the Auto by some invisible hand, my shoulder came under severe stress for I just wanted to worship the Goddess one last time. Initially I felt bad that she was not in the same Auto but then I found myself staring at a 50 year old Uncle with hardly any air gap between us. This is one thing that I hate about 7-Seaters. You run out of ideas as to where to look. It would have been so embarrassing for her to find a “Villainous” looking man looking at her for the entire length of the journey. Forget her, how torturous would it be on man who has to look elsewhere when probably one of the most beautiful women is seated just opposite. Thank God, she was not there and the feeling of joy was not marred by such atrocities. As someone had rightly said, “A thing of beauty is a joy forever” and so shall the joy remain within me.

She was very fair and her face had very sharp features. The face had a heavenly glow and a kind of sweetness to it. I don’t think cosmetics can change the look drastically. The eyes were prominent and worth a good amount of insurance. I like it when woman leave their hair untied either the curls falling on the shoulders or flowing down smooth as a silk. Her height was perfect keeping in mind her built. She was neither Size Zero nor Bulky framed. She was like a typical Indian beauty, who has enough curves for a Saree to drape perfectly. Someone had once said that a woman’s feet reflect her character. I did not believe in this piece of outrageous analysis then and still I don’t give a damn. But, for some strange reason I do tend to check out the feet and I was literally floored to see her feet match the awesomeness of her face. A “paayal” fitted in very nicely and further accentuated the attractiveness. She was wearing Harem pants and a fitted tank top to go with it. The best part was that she kept it minimal and didn’t over-accessorize. I believe Black and certain tones of Red look good on most women. Her demeanour exuded confidence and she was at ease with her body. That is why she was able to carry herself that well. Some naturally endowed people look vulgar and artificial just because they themselves are not sure about their looks. They always look at the outside world for cues. Beauty is only skin deep and beyond that lies the real Beauty, the Beauty of character and personality. Tons of powder is nothing but dust if the mind is not clutter free. Being part of the fashion industry for a while, I know that it is good to be conscious about ones look. But there is a very thin line. The moment you grow over conscious, you screw your happiness as external appreciation becomes your index of beauty or smartness and that is often misleading.

I have written precisely 938 words as of now to paint a picture of this beautiful woman and perhaps she is asleep by now. That is alright but actually I have used up these few minutes, some MBs and a little of my grey matter as a dedication to the entire Woman who think of themselves as beautiful. There is no shame in loving one’s own body or a certain attributes. It really stumps me when I find people of our generation considering it taboo to talk without any inhibitions about curves, sizes, figures and fits. This often translates into reactions which are cheap and demeaning especially to a woman. The idea is you need not wear the right clothes as long as you have the right attitude on. Some woman look decent even in Bikinis and a few can even make Sarees look cheap and vulgar. Sex appeal is actually not determined by a piece of fabric.

Oh I forgot to mention that there was a Guy with her, may be her Brother. I say so because he also had the model kind of looks. And I am not talking science here. In case you don''t know the popular conclusion in such cases, here it is for you.

"Koi bhi Ladka ek bahaut hi khubsoorat ladki ke saath ho toh yaa toh woh uska Bhai hota hain aur nahi toh bahaut hi gandha sa koi insaan hota hain, Langur ke haath mein Angoor types"!!!!

AMITABH BACHCHAN...Do I need to say any more?????

These days I do not have the luxury of watching trailers of upcoming releases as I don’t have the idiot box at my place. I just log in and book my tickets online based on the stills or my “sixth sense”. Actually, my hunch helps in just deciding the order as I end up watching all d movies that hit the theatres. Life otherwise would be very boring here. Nopes, it’s not an exercise but it’s just that I like to decide for myself rather than believing the Reviews of any Tom, Dick and people like Ayan. Art cannot be objectively judged and appeals in a different way to different people. Anyways, my attempt to book a ticket to a show of TRANSFORMERS failed and so I had to go to the theatre to try my luck.

I waited for my turn and then bought a ticket to the 6 P.M. show of BBUDDHA HOGA TERA BAAP. Now, don’t poke fun at my lack of ability to stick to my decisions. It was a much thought out move. I deliberated for almost 39 seconds and at the end of it I found that a MACHINE was no match for the CREATIVE GENIUS OF the BIG B. Honestly, I was not sure about the movie but I knew I was in for a treat. The story was not that great and it was a bit weird at places. I almost got blinded by the colours that he wore but then gradually the loud colours turned into an extension of the character that he was playing. The moment you hear him say in his awesome voice “Hum jaha khade hotey hain, line wahi se shuru hoti hain…..”, you know this movie is dedicated to the lead Actor himself. You get to see all that makes him the Greatest Actor of the Millennium. His understanding of the various shades of a man’s emotions is there for all to see. Many actors have tried over the years but the Master is still the ANGRY YOUNG MAN. He is a Magician and I was exposed to his magic quite early in childhood thanks to my father’s love for movies. Then I did not understand any damn thing about acting and seeing my sister hide behind my mother during fight sequences, I believed it was for real. In fact, I had tried to convince my father to buy me a uniform that Police Officer’s wear. Thank God, he didn’t.

“Mere paas aao, mere Doston……Ek kissa suno…..” and with this song Mr. Natwarlal had a young fan in me and in fact my cousins as well. Every Sunday morning, all of us would gather in the TV room with a plate full of delicacies and wait for the moment when the cassette would be pushed into the VCR. We would have watched Mr. Natwarlal kill Vikram (that was the name I think) almost 40 odd times. The other Cassette at our disposal was ALAAP which was beyond us and damn boring as well. After lunch, we would be kicked out of the room and all the elders would gather to watch the new releases. I still remember that we wanted to watch DAMINI and got a good scolding after they failed to convince us to go out of the room. Finally, my uncle had to bribe us out.  We went and bought GOODYEAR rubber ball and as we were enjoying a good game of cricket, Sunny Deol was asking  TARIKH PE TARIKH, TARIKH PE TARIKH…..BOLO KITNE TARIKH?????

As I grew up I got to know more about the legend through his movies like Zanjeer, Suhaag, Do Aur Do Paanch, Don, Silsila, Trishul, Coolie, Mukaddar Ka Sikandar, Deewar, Sholay and many more. Then came this movie where Amitabh and Mithun combination worked wonders and gave us one of the most powerful movies of all time in terms of performances. I was particularly delighted to see two of my favourite actors lighting up the screen with their brilliance. (Ok Ron….I expect a comment on this). Vijay Dinanath Chauhan and Krishnan Iyer M.A. are two characters that would never die. Khoon se latpath….khoon se latpath…AGNEEPATH. I saw that same intensity in his face as he was taking on the goons in this latest flick of his.

As a keen follower of his movies, I feel that we have missed out a decade of his cinematic excellence in the Nineties for various reasons. But the Master came back with a Bang and is doing brilliantly well in movies which suit his age. Not every actor gets a strong role when he is 65+ but this Man is aware of his limitations and within those limitations, he is continuing to enthral his audience. That speaks volumes about his confidence as an actor. Rajnikanth is still dancing around the trees and Salman would the same in a few years time. But actors like Amitabh excel in every kind of situation and hence roles are specially created for such Actors.

I have lots of respect for Big B especially for the fact that he stretched himself hard at this age under difficult financial circumstances and reinvented himself through KBC and has never looked back since then. We surely have lots to learn from the man and his life. Hindi Film Industry and this world would be poorer the day he decides to live away from the Sets. He has given us so many moments when we forgot all d hardships that we face in our day to day life. Here’s wishing him many good years and wishing myself many good movies of the SHAHENSHAH…….AMITABH BACHCHAN.

CHILDHOOD THAT ISN'T QUITE THERE.......

I had just come back from office and after a nice bath began to get myself mentally ready for another struggle with Dal and Chappatis. I had instructed them not to send Dal with Chappatis. It makes my life all the more difficult and me a bit homesick. Believe me; it is difficult for a strict non-vegetarian Bengali to survive on this kind of diet. Nevertheless, I adapted (read surrendered) to the situation quite some time back. Anyways, I was feeling hungry and was about to call for my Tiffin when I heard someone calling “Bhaiya” from outside. I opened the door and here I find a kid of twelve perhaps standing with a Tiffin box meant for me. For a moment, I really felt good as the kid understood what the rest of the world (including my parents and especially my Jijaji) is finding difficult to accept off late. Jijaji has only one issue to discuss every time we speak over phone and I have only one answer for him …..“Main toh Bachcha hoon ji……” . Just to drive home the point, I have a couple of cousins who are tiny tots. Ok I must get back to the kid or else he would leave. I offered him a Dairy Milk and he refused. I thought he was shy but then his reply surprised me. “Bhaiya mujhe chocolates achche nahi lagte….woh bahaut mithey hote hain!!!”. Back in my childhood days, my father would have been very proud of my reasoning had I ever told him the same thing (Bhaiya to be replaced by Baba of course). But, here I was standing in a pair of shorts and a Dairy Milk in my hand whereas the kid was in attire and with behaviour that reflected his lost childhood. But the shocker came when I enquired about his name. He replied “Chotu” and so I enquired again for his actual name. The reply that I got was “Mujhe maloom nahi…sab mujhe Chotu hi bulatey hain!!!”. I took the Tiffin box from him and as my eyes made contact with his, I could see the restlessness and a bit of naughtiness that kids usually have. He said Bye and ran down the staircase. I stood in the Balcony and watched him go. What I had seen in his eyes was true. He was jumping over the Gates and mingling with other children just as any kid would do. However, he realised that he had to go to some other house to deliver the Tiffin and got on to his Bicycle and soon he was not to be seen. But the other kids were still enjoying their time ignorant of the hard ways of life.

Talking of his Bicycle, it seems to be his only friend. It is actually meant for someone much older but Chotu is a good Cyclist. The Bicycle is a typical one but it has a crate on it of course for the Tiffin boxes. Chotu loves his cycle very much and prefers to peddle his way even if the destination is the next building. Along the way, he would explore the bylanes and stop by for some time with the other kids. Five minutes of football or some lamp to aim at with the stones or simply to touch the cricket ball that is hit in his direction. That is all he wishes for and that is when you wish a better childhood for him.

The next day he came and this time I offered him a packet of Bingo. He accepted gladly and finished of the packet within a minute. I asked him if he liked it and he said YES. Perhaps, sweetness has gone out of his life at an early age. Then his eyes fell on my laptop and he entered my room. A movie was on and he sat there silent enjoying the movie. Five minutes had hardly gone by, and he rushed out. The sense of responsibility is much better in him then in many of the older people that I have come across. For that matter, sometimes even I lose focus and meander into some other world but this kid knows his work. That’s a good quality but an unfortunate one nonetheless at his age.

Just two days back, I had gone for breakfast and I saw the kid being scolded by one of the fellow workers there. He had tears in his eyes and the eyes were watery but the tears never rolled down. Perhaps he has already learnt to control his emotions. We scolded that man and immediately a smile could be seen on his face. The childlike innocence becomes evident on occasions but the rest of the time, there is a mask of an adult on him.

I really feel bad for him and sometime I do feel like reporting it to the police. But then the Lady who employs him does take care of him. Though the law against Child Labour helps in checking the exploitation but then what after that???? I am not sure if a proper rehabilitation process is in place. What about the family back home????? Is the situation back home hopeless???? Do they solely depend on the young kid’s income for survival???? The Law and its enforcement is necessary but the subsequent betterment of both the kid and his family should be the most important factor in deciding the viable course of action. Till the time Law is not able to take care of that the kid should be left to live life as he is doing now. Moralistic principles often discount the reality. Hopefully, his employer will realise the need for a child to be conversant with at least the ABCs. But then again someday, you will read a post from me on how the kid has to bear the burden of both work and studies. It’s easy to think and type on a laptop but LIFE is far more complex than that. As for now, I can only wish the kid GOODLUCK and pray for his better life. A Dairy Milk for me and a BINGO for the kid!!!!

WEAKEND BY THE LAST WEEKEND....OH NO..SHIT..DAMN!!!!

During my school days, one of the most popular themes for Essay writing was "A day when everything goes wrong". Then I loved creating the weirdest possible wrongs for the right effect on my answer script. Thirteen odd years and life had in store for me one such weekend which helped me understand the pain, heartburn, anger, despair, humour and seven other kind of emotions that those two or three pages had captured. May be I would be able to surpass my scores if they allow re-examination as now I have been enlightened after all experience is the best teacher. Ofcourse learning is a student's prerogative.I have learnt a bit and this is how the lessons unfolded one by one.

Last day of the training had dawned upon us and most of us were trying to hold back time because the Academy is the best place to enjoy once you have had sufficient sleep in the class.Nevertheless almost all of us made it to the class after a hard night's toil with the bottle and the vocal chords. It was Saturday and hence a packed schedule till we were suppposed to be packed off after noon. On entering the class I could see the girls at their chirpy best, guys discussing life and crap (can be clubbed together). However, the most interesting sight was that of a Guy studying hard amidst all the chaos. Apparently, there was an Exit Test scheduled for the day. I wondered if failures would be allowed to stay back.The test began but I was not tested at all as my knowledge was limited to the fact that there would be four options and one out of those had to be ticked. I did so and exchanged Guesses with colleagues sitting beside me. Test over and marks were announced in descending order. I found myself amongst a small group who were closest to one (not the Rank but the Score). I was still smiling and yeah that Guy is still not the MD. I wished him all the best. Hard Study will take him somewhere someday.

Then came the Quiz and six Groups were formed for the purpose. While I was waiting for the Sports and the Visual round, other groups were busy gathering 5s and 10s. Especially, we were DISMAL with DECIMALS and slowly we realised that we were given a rough deal while others were being given christmas gifts. This is a familiar territory,isn't it? We have had this kind of moments on quite a few ocassions especially during our school and college days while participating in this Quiz event or that cricket match. I agree there are a few Saints who would be saying "I never felt that way!!!!". Anyways, the results were declared and our Group won handsomely the ultimate battle of sacrifice. We started on a ZERO and we ended that way as well. Quite a departure for someone like me who has quite a few testimonials in this discipline. But we were laughing and enjoying the moment letting someone else walk away with a gift wrapped box. May be there was a Loreal hamper and so of no use to me. Finally the 2 weeks training was over and we bid adieu after exchanging a few pleasantries and ofcourse phone numbers. Here I must add that quite a few officers are in the habit of forwarding Cheesy Shayaris and I found my mobile under attack soon after. Infact, today I had to call up one such person and warn him against such practice. Yucks....Dude Get a LIfe. Create yourself and then send. You are not a Postman.

Before I deviate into Mars, let me share with you the funniest misadventure that I found myself in. It was supposed to be the day when Manchester United would take on Barcelona for the UEFA Champions League and being an avid football fan that I am, I rushed out of Patiala and checked into a hotel. I made sure that they air TEN SPORTS which normally broadcasts such matches. It was half an hour past One at night and still no sign of a sliding tackle or a free kick. I must have dozed off after that and the first thing I did Sunday morning was checking for the result. After much difficulty, I could find a headline on a Hindi News Channel that read "Aaj raat ko khela jaayega Manchester United or Barcelona ke bich UEFA Champions League Final". I burst into laughter at this and looked at my wallet.The wallet looked sad as it was going to lose some further weight. I decided to stay back to watch the match. However, my immediate concern was the examination which I had to appear in a couple of hours time. I reached the venue on time and started clicking wherever I liked to. Two hours over and I found that the Screen had a message for me. The message meant that I had fallen short by One mark and this implied that my Pay Slip won't get richer that soon as I had thought after getting good results out of the first two papers. A Grand fell out of my "JAIIB" and still I was quite composed but the jaws of the Girl sitting next to me dropped and she behaved as if she was pissed of with my performance. Well she was not concerned for me but she was rather cursing herself for trusting my answers. She was answering the Questions on the screen with one eye, the other one was at my screen ofcourse. Sorry Lady.....You are Wiser now. I took an auto and was on my way to Aroma when my friend Prashant called up to inform that Man Utd had lost. His words did what the failure in the exam could not....I WAS DEVASTATED but Lunch was still important. I had Fake Biryani and came back to the hotel. I finally managed to get an update and then cursed myself for not being there for the REDs. My hatred for Hindi News channels grew more intense that day onwards. Those buggers can count the number of Laddus that were made for Sewhag's wedding but ignore the much more important stuff. I was too tired by then and dozed off only to be awakened by a loud banging on the door. I looked at the clock and on opening the door, I found the Receptionist in an angry mood ready to unleash all her wrath on me. She informed that the Check Out time was 12 O'Clock at noon and new guest had been waiting for me to open the door. She wanted to know if I would continue my stay. I was not interested anymore and so asked her to ready the bill. By the time, I could pack and sign off, the bill had doubled. Life has taught me to take everything in stride and move on and that I did but ofcourse in an auto. I stopped by at a Cafe for some snacks.After a nice cup of coffee, I felt good and headed for my room. But then I found my Debit Card missing and the fireworks started. From SHITs to FUCKs & DAMNS and the good old OH NO as well.....the air was thick with the smoke then.I ran to the Cafe and the Manager there handed over the Debit Card with a nice smile. I thanked him and came out. Suddenly, I could feel that things have changed and the jinx is over. I decided to head to PVR instead. Loved watching Back to Back Shows. Came back at night with a nice HANGOVER 2 after fantastic KUNG FU PANDA kicks.

That was my weekend and thank God that I don't keep my hair long or else I would have pulled out all of that. But even while I was going through all these, I was in a way enjoying the randomness of the misadventures. Infact, I always love to pack my back and hit the road without a Travel Policy in place. Unpredictability is what I love and like to LIVE by.

A Book is actually judged by its cover!!!!

I picked up the reading habit very late but gradually grew comfortable with the idea of being witness to Zoya's romance with a cricketer or a chinese couple's loveless yet a strong relationship that translated into a arduous battle for survival. I am pretty naive as to make a purchase decision based on the author's name that appears on the cover. Actually, I don't know that many names from the literary world. So, more often than not I pick up a novel going by the brief that appears at the back. It is the safest option for a reader like me. Ofcourse, I cannot deny the fact that I had purchased a few novels purely because the graphics on the cover were "interesting".

Nevertheless, this post is not about what I like to read and what I don't. I just wanted to put it across to you that we often do pick up a book at its face value without having any clue about the 300 odd pages that wait for our attention. It is like judging a movie by its preview and we all know how often we have been taken for a ride. But, the adage still enjoys a nice little space in our grammer books...."DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER".

In reality though, our behaviour is contrary and we always form an opinion about any damn thing at the first sight. Sometimes our hunch is right and at other instances, we are miserably off the mark and left in the lurch to eat our own words. What do we learn out of such instances, WE DON'T CARE AND WE WILL CONTINUE TO BE JUDGEMENTAL.

Let me come to the point and explain the actual reason behind this blog. The three paragraphs that you have just read doesn't imply that the idea came late. It is just that I thought strategic delay might increase the curiosity factor provided you have survived through the words already before you. Hello, are you still there???????

I always preferred short cropped hair to the dreadful curls that I had a few years back. It seemed I always carried high tide on my head. Not knowing how to swim meant that there was always a case for drowning. I saved myself of water and of a few bucks by going for a near bald look. My visits to saloon were reduced and the investment in comb ceased to exist. It was after I joined the Bank that I thought the Bengali should turn French and here I am carrying that look ever since. But, the new look seems to have altered my character as evident from a few incidents off late.

Firstly, I was caught and apprehended by Punjab Police for suspicious movements. I was just waiting for a friend of mine outside the Training Academy. Police came and saw me standing with a duffel bag and as usual made their JUDGEMENT. To put it on record, I was neither arrested nor abused in any way. Infact, I was happy to note their pro-activeness. But little did I know that this judgement would start transforming into a popular sentiment soon. A couple of weeks back, I was in Delhi waiting in the queue for Metro. A woman JUDGED me and this time I was branded a "Pocketmaar". Thank God, she was not loud with her apprehensions. But I could not resist and burst into laughter at this. The man accompanying the lady was visibly embarassed and apologised. I again blamed the poor judgemental skills of the lady and moved on. Afterall, I knew that I had a good credibility atleast in my friends and family circle if not any where else. Nevertheless, I saw the funny side of it and got into the train. A few days later, I was at a multiplex in Bangalore and I was at the receiving end of such judgement but this time from two beautiful angels. They were seated in such a way that one of them would have been sitting beside me. But, the moment they noticed me they exchanged their seats and I found myself enjoying the movie with an uncle beside me for the entire length of the movie. Now, this was the last thing I wanted to happen to this aspirational bachelor. However, I would not have noticed my neighbours if the swap had not happened right in front of me. I REALLY MEAN IT!!!!

My father had failed to recognise me at the airport and my parents had reservations about this look since then. Now, I know that they had understood that this look might get them only Monas and Tinas as their bahu (with due respect to all the girls by those names). As for me I do wonder at times that whether Osama would have been a Saint without a beard. Vijay Mallya is still the king of good times inspite of his French beard. Ayan is still the "Goody Goody" Ayan irrespective of his beard or his hair do.

I would be a hypocrite if I conveniently ignore the fact that I do JUDGE as well. Hence, I will try to not judge people henceforth based on how they appear and hope that I am not JUDGED either. And if at all some one judges me, let their be a favourable judgment and I end up as the beneficiary. This is important for all the barbers who have a hard time when I visit them.

To conclude, ignore what I just promised as we will continue to judge the book by its cover and all that crap about not being judgemental is a sheer lie. Hoping for the best, crucial times are coming I guess. Deadline is fast approaching and time is running out. Character endorsements...any one??????

Its time for my favourite book now....FACEBOOK!!!!!

Band, Baaja, Baraat & above all...Pet Puja!!!!

Over the last few years, I have missed a quite a few family functions especially weddings. I always loved such occasions when one could meet everybody under one roof and enjoy the good times. I had been told by one of my colleagues at the Training centre that the place where I was going for my second posting at Moonak would give me quite a few opportunities to be part of weddings. Anyways, I didn't remember that but the moment I stepped into this Branch, I found that someone had come by to invite us (I was already "in" then) for one such wedding reception. One of the colleagues there told me that Punjabi weddings are very extravagant and colourful and promised us to take along. I could understand the “extravagant” bit but was not so sure about the “colourful” aspect of it. Nevertheless, the day came and I hopped into one of the hired vehicles.

On reaching there, I asked my Manager whether we have been invited by the Groom or the Bride. He informed that we are part of the Baraat. We entered the venue and couldn’t find any body seated there for all were busy at the Food Stalls savouring various delicacies on offer. I was surprised to find no trace of the Bride or the Groom. Anyways, the aroma of the food was too much to be ignored. Like a Jury member in a Science Exhibition, I visited all the stalls one by one picking up whatever I liked (actually I picked up a bit of all for the sake of my “unbiased apettite”). In a while, I also felt thirsty and headed towards the Stall where I could see lots of empty glasses. I asked them for a glass of water and the man at the counter opened a bottle of Blender’s Pride. I thanked him for his “Customer Up-gradation skills” but then I never liked Whiskey. I was about to turn around but then thought of enquiring for some Vodka. Vodka stumped that man and his face suggested that he felt abused and so without further delay I came back to join the rest of the Bankers. You do not mess around with Sardarjis and that too drunk ones. It seemed I started the flow of drinks as shortly I could see a glass in every hand except mine. I opted for some caffeine instead.

The Baraat finally arrived with lots of hungama and 100 Pipers. All d Guests gathered around the Gate to catch a glimpse of the Lead Pair. Even we waited for sometime but then they were taking an eon to move in. So, we decided to head for the Buffet Counter. With lots of hope based on the wide range of starters and fast food that we enjoyed an hour back, I checked out all and it turned out that the hosts were vegetarian. The non-vegetarian in me was disappointed for sure but even good vegetarian food is a luxury for me now. That is the advantage of being a non-vegetarian….wide choices that one has. The gulab jamuns were perhaps the best that I have had in a long time. The moment I saw them the Bengali in me screamed MISHTI……I had one then I had another and then I enjoyed a couple more.

By the time we finished eating, live on stage entertainment in the form of singing and dancing had already started. A few girls started off with Salaam karne ki arzoo hain……and then they shifted gears and rocked the stage with Sheila ki Jawaani. Now a days, Sheila and Munni always go together wherever they are invited. Here I witnessed something which I had hitherto seen only in movies….Guys coming and showering currency notes on the lead dancer and she was playing along with the young philanthropists who were evidently on a high due to her Rakhi SawantISH adaa and little alcohol. But the best part was that a Guy dedicatedly was there gathering all the notes which could not find a place in her Ghagra or Choli and fell on the stage. For Bankers like us, it was a terrible sight. Here we are struggling for deposit mobilization and here we find our prospective customer throwing away money like dirt. 9.5% interest doesn’t work here, for these people the interest lies somewhere else. That day we gained a valuable lesson. Don’t misinterpret….I don’t mean that the Bankers also should starting dancing with skimpily clothed Sheilas and Munnis.

We enjoyed ourselves till midnight and still the wedding rituals had not kicked off. We went to the stage where the couple were seated. We wished them Good Luck and got a photo clicked. One last handshake with the host and we came back. I had a good time away from the boring environs of the workplace but was dead tired especially after 143 handshakes. In Punjab, Sardarjis like to hold your hands. I hope the same is the case with beautiful Punjabi Kudis as well. On a serious note, Athithi Sewa is the best in Punjab.

A trip to a nearby Resort.....

A month had gone by since my arrival here at Burass and I had started to fit into a rural lifestyle. But, one day my Manager called and handed over to me an Invitation for "all expenses paid 2 weeks stay" at a nearby Resort. Though I had been making plans for a trip to Gurgaon for the same purpose yet it didn't matter much as I had been waiting for such opportunity to relax and enjoy the company of other such tourists. So on the 9th of January, I packed my Bags and headed towards the State Bank of Patiala Infotech Academy. I was amongst the first few people to arrive and so got the luxury of getting a two-sharing room. Here I must add that I earned that right of luxury as I struggled for almost 10 mins fighting with the lock. For a moment, I started to question my abilities. "Ayan tu ek taala nahi khol sakta toh aage toh....", well I mean life throws at us lots of major challenges and we cannot afford to surrender to such trivial issues. Just as I opened the door, my roommate also came. I greeted him and thought that someone had said it correctly.."Luck happens when preparation meets opportunity"- someone prepares and someone else gets the opportunity. Nevertheless, atleast I had met someone of my age after a while even though our thoughts and actions were totally opposite. Newton's Law doesn't apply here though and thank God for that. 

Being a sports freak, I headed towards the Badminton Court but found no one interested in a game or two. Rest of the Gang were busy socializing with each other and I started socializing with the Security Guards in their Cabin. For a couple of days, people viewed me as some sort of Alien I guess and a few of them still do I suppose. All work and no play had made Ayan a dull boy. But, gradually people started flocking to the Badminton Court and after a point it became difficult to even manage two consecutive games for the demand had outstripped the supply. Cricket was something I had been looking forward to playing and soon I discovered that a few other people shared similar sentiments. Classes...oops ....ok let me make it clear that the Resort was a Training Centre and we had gathered for our our induction training. But the facilities made it look like as if we were on vacation in some Resort. Do read between the lines as I said this keeping in mind the hardships being faced by some of us at our current place of posting.

Classes were going one well especially things were fine as I could gather sitting in the last row. I don't mean that I was sleeping. Infact I spoke, I used the ink and I clicked on the mouse as well. On a serious note, we had some good learning sessions with the faculty.

Lohri was also celebrated in the campus. Dance is such an integral part of Punjabi culture and it was in its full glory here as some of them showed their best moves. I, as usual, applauded from sidelines. Everybody dances then there won't be anyone to appreciate. Actually, I had my feet rooted to the ground.

Food was good. I have head much worse than that. Infact, I must say that the Canteen Guys took decent care of us. Not everyone can be pleased and so no complaints. There would be people who even wondered at the quantity that I carried on my plate.Yes, I was hungry Guys.

Internet Cafe was initially out of order but then was made available for us to work on our projects. There was lot of research work done at www.facebook.com for this purpose. Library was either not accessible or was not accessed by us. I am not too sure what was the actual reason. As for me, I don't enter Libraries as I am at my loudest best there. My friends from the College days would vouch for that.

Talking about the project, well yeah we were divided into groups and were asked to present on various topics. I was the leader for one of the groups. It was amusing to note the kind of seriousness with which teams were preparing. Fair enough, most of them had not been involved in such occasions before in their life. So the formal announcement made them a bit jittery. Some of us had been part of such exercises a zillion times in our Management institutes and so we took it easy. Yeah, the important differentiating factor is the group camaraderie as here we hardly knew each other. So the practice sessions were necessary. Those sessions were also helpful to break the ice though in few cases the hammer broke but not the ice. The formal presentations were made. We fought over it, we laughed over it BUT most importantly, we ENJOYED each other's company. I got nostalgic while doing the Report for the project as we used to work similarly at College. But, blogging has helped my thought-process as I compiled the report like a blog. The words just flowed. My teammates would have resorted to a Coup if I had failed to get the report ready on time. (We were just an hour late.) The presentation of our Group was well appreciated but the winners were the worthy winners.

Everyone left but I remained as I had an important business at Dhobi Ghat to be taken care of. One of my colleagues, Pranati also stayed back for the same. We had a good time at Omaxe. He departed in the evening leaving me with the TV. Monday morning, I had to leave for the fear of being thrown out.

Lots of moments were captured on camera(nothing indecent), lots of friend requests were made and lots of numbers were exchanged. Hopefully, the new Network remains Strong and Healthy.