When the dream turns into a nightmare.......!!!

Besides Roti and Kapda, Makaan is the basic requirement for a good life. But more importantly, “Khud ka makaan” is a wish that every man harnesses. This wish often transforms a common man’s life into a mission, a mission to earn and save enough to own a house that he can really call it his own. Four walls and a roof that one can call one’s own is much more valuable than even a rented posh apartment. Every common man diligently works towards that aim and kabhi kabhi ussi mein puri zindagi nikal jaati hain…..!!! To every man, his home is his castle and to see the transformation of the hard earned money into an abode full of love and happy memories is perhaps the most fulfilling experience for any one. In India, people make homes for their posterity or at least, this has been the tradition. So often, you would see that a man buys or builds a house just before he is about to retire. Things have changed with easy availability of housing finance and changing mindset but the urge to provide protection to the next generation cuts across the barriers of wealth and status.

As a banker, I have met many borrowers, both present and prospective. But I was really sad to see the plight of one such man whose smile has vanished somewhere after his prized possession became a cause of pain and anxiety for him. Sitting on the other side of the table, I could feel the hurt, anger and frustration simmering within him. If I were to put words to the story of this man’s journey as a borrower, probably this is how I would write it down.

A man in his early fifties walked in once with the hope that his dream of owning a house would get realised soon. He went through all the processes as fast as he could as he was eager to gift his wife and three kids a new home. He felt proud every time he looked in his wife’s eyes which reflected the promises of a future full of loving memories. One glance at his kids and the doting father felt that they should get an easier and much happier life. He got blinded by the rosy picture of future and that is where he made the first mistake. Like all borrowers, even he signed the dotted lines without reading the document. His income was not that great but his retirement benefits would have been able to cover his debt. Further, the wise Banker convinced him to go for an insurance to cover the home loan. The idea behind such insurance is that should anything happen to the borrower, the debt burden would be taken care of by the insurance for a meagre premium per month. This saves the rest of the family from the hassles of Bank’s recovery efforts. In this case, the man had to just pay Rs.250 per month which seemed affordable then. The man got the loan and soon he ushered in a new future at a place close to his heart.

But gradually things started going wrong once he retired. He used up the retirement benefits to set up a small business for his son instead of paying off his debt as he thought that his three kids would take care of their father’s burden. Life had other ideas though and his world soon came crushing down. He lost his dear wife and his kids grew up to be useless, selfish and callous. They added further weight to the heavy burden the poor man was already struggling to carry. The home no longer comforted him and neither did it give him any peace of mind. For a few grains of rice, he had to hear hundreds of abuses everyday from his sons and daughter in laws. The cacophony outside started sounding sweeter than the voices he heard within the four walls. He could fight with the world but not with his own children and in his own home that he shaped with lot of sweat and blood. Now, it is just a structure witnessing his miserable life moving on. It is more like a Grave and not a Home any longer. He is still breathing but he is not living life. The father can never be harsh on the kids and so his heart melts every time he sees the innocent faces of his grandchildren. He knows that his kids would struggle for survival after he is no more. Four walls and a roof would be a great asset to possess in those hard times.

When things start going wrong, they seem so unrelenting. The Bank called to inform that the revised interest rates would mean that the poor man has to shell out more every month. When a man is cornered, he becomes rebellious. He fights back. His fight does not imply that he is right but it is just an outburst of all that he has patiently withstood since misfortune started courting his life. He blamed the Bank for increasing interest rates contrary to the agreement terms and conditions. He is ignorant of the way bank finance works as had not read the fine print that day when he was in a hurry to take the loan. He is sinking deep into depression and so he is trying to hang on to the last straw wherever he could find one. He rebelled against the advise given by the bank and continues to pay less than what is required. The loan has reached a stage where it could go bad any moment and so the bank has to step up the recovery efforts. Banking is a process but Bankers are humans after all, and so we counselled him on multiple occasions. During one such session, the old man broke down and introduced us to his sorry state of affairs. 

This 64 year old man is working as a security guard in an ATM while sons are sitting shamelessly idle at home turning a blind eye to the pain of their father. At an age when he was supposed to enjoy his time at home with his grand children, the poor man is instead putting his life at stake by guarding a 10’x10’ space for twelve hours in the scorching heat. This 10'x10' space could end up as his grave soon. He is so frail that he won’t be able to even put up a minute of resistance should there be any theft. For a few, life is a story of never ending struggle and he is one of those fighters. But somewhere age has caught up with him and he is losing this hopeless battle. He is working hard at this age not because he has any expectations from life but the honest man is toiling hard for peanuts just to die without any debt. This is precisely the thought that dominates the mind of all self respecting senior citizens in our society. When we heard his unfortunate story, we were really shaken. Our first thought was to calm him down as at this age his heart has become too vulnerable to withstand such traumatic existence and his mind is too weak to shun thoughts of suicide. We consoled him and spoke to his sons to help him out and take up their responsibility. But, the arrogant losers dismissed our advise and simply told us that it is not their responsibility to pay off the debt as they had not taken the loan. We felt pity for such asses who do not know the value of a father in life. At that point, I felt like kicking them out but then I stopped myself thinking that sooner or later, these cowards will be taught a lesson in life.

The irony of life is that the father cannot sell his property as his kids would end up on the road, the loan can be taken care of by the insurance but for that the old man has to be dead. As for now, the insurance premium of Rs.250 itself is proving to be a great burden for the man. The system is automated and it does not consider the emotions or the pains of a human being. It only knows that a certain sum should be paid before a certain date. I splurge all my savings and here is a man who is struggling to earn Rs.250. Helping him personally by lending him some money once or twice is fine but this is not a permanent solution as there is no light at the end of the tunnel here. Sooner or later, the bank will realise the debt by auctioning off the property and we are just delaying the inevitable in the hope that at least one son will stand up like a man and make his life count. We are also trying to find ways to reduce the burden by exercising various options within the banking norms. There are rich borrowers who default at the pretext of not having enough time to deposit the repayment and then there are those like this man who put their integrity above everything else. He reminds me of my father who has also done everything possible to give me a good life and if I do not take care of him now then there is no meaning to my existence. I pray to God that he does some magic so that this borrower of mine can live his last few years happily and free of any burden. To conclude, I would like to advise all of you to pay off your debts well on time instead of sticking to the regular EMIs. Life is full of surprises and so every extra cent saved should be used to clear off the debt. 

DEAD & FORGOTTEN...It doesn't matter now!!!

He is there down somewhere lonely, yet loneliness has not enveloped his thoughts. He is surrounded by darkness all around him, yet fear has failed to get the better of him. There is not even that tiny opening for him to feel the energy of the Sun or the romanticism of the moon and yet he is not feeling claustrophobic. He is not feeling helpless even though he can’t move an inch. There is no light to keep him warm, no voice to keep him engrossed, no air to keep him fresh and no water to keep him thirst free. But he does not crave for warmth, he is not seeking a companion, he can’t feel any better and he is not thirsty either. He is dead and buried in his grave. The soul has departed but the body has been left behind in isolation. With time even that will cease to exist but he was a character too. He had lived once and now he would live in memories. Memories of his near and dear ones, if at all he had any or if any one of those actually valued his presence.

He had just been buried a few days back and things are not the same now.  If for a moment some life gets infused into his motionless ever decaying corpse, he would have been shocked to see that people have moved on and he would realise that his personality had only a momentary impact on other’s lives. It does not matter how tall he is or how strong he is, he doesn’t quite have a towering presence now. Till a a few days back, he used to draw gazes of young girls who couldn’t hide their affection for the attractive young man. Now, his body is cold and the skin has gone pale. Those girls have already found someone else to admire.

He might have been a very good man or perhaps, he was the most corrupt. He was either an extrovert or preferred keeping to himself. He was either famous or he was just a commoner. Nothing matters anymore. His good deeds or his most horrible doings; none of these would count now or in the next life, provided this re-birth theory has some credibility. He died young and left behind so many unfulfilled dreams. The bird had just learnt how to soar high but the flight ended abruptly because destiny acted otherwise. Such a promising talent would never get the recognition it deserved. He could have given so many moments of happiness to so many people. But those people are still living oblivious to the loss of a promising life. I wonder WHO IS DEAD???? 

He was buried by strangers who found him dead by riverside and under that bridge whose architectural glory has now been overshadowed by the discussions about that unfortunate plunge that the young man took. What drove him to do this??? We will never know. No one has come to grieve at his grave; no one has come and put some lilies. I wonder WHO IS DEAD???? 

He doesn’t have any epitaph to symbolise his existence on this earth. No words could have done justice to a life so short and a life that could have been wonderful. He has been perhaps forgotten already but it hardly matters to that heap of flesh that is lying down there. It doesn't get hurt or doesn't feel the pain any longer. The soul has left with all the feelings, leaving behind just mere evidence of his existence. Soon, the body will decay and get lost like his memories which are being wiped off by the tide of time and the very nature of mortal beings who are still moving above the ground. Life is just a journey from the womb of the mother to the womb of the mother earth. For all those youth who are not with us and who have died having been deprived of love and care.