For 28 odd years, this heavy red object was just another thing in the kitchen. It was not so important and I,for sure, had very little to do with it except on occasions when it required to be moved in or out of the house. In fact, that part of the house which we call "Kitchen" never appealed to me. Some people enjoy the process and some enjoy the output. I belong to the latter group and love my food but to imagine myself fighting with the masalas and the utensils, would be torturous in itself.
But things change and the priorities as well. I got married and......oh wait, don't think,even for a moment, that I have started cooking. I care for my wife and no insurance covers death due to "damage to taste buds". Long live..........Missus Goswami. Well, I may actually become Sanjeev Kapoor of my kitchen someday but that day is ages away. As for now, I have realised the importance of a Cylinder in one's life especially when you pass on the induction cooker to your mother-in-law after having failed to get it working. Moreover, Kerosene is hard to find these days and that wonderful warm "mud chulha" is a thing of the past.
It was not enough to only understand the importance of having a Gas Connection in one's name but I actually had to draw out a plan for acquisition of one such connection to keep the poor fish vendors of Sector 47 in business. So, for the noble cause of Social Upliftment, I got down to work without any delay. The first step was obvious and that was to get the documents ready. But my allegiance lies with the Internet and beliefs with anything that requires very little ink. My friend, Vikas would recollect the long drawn battle that I had with Airtel DTH before they took note of my online registration and installed that dish which coincidentally was again "red" in colour. Ignoring that incident of service deficiency as an odd aberration, I registered online with HP Gas. A sixteen digit reference number seemed impressive and since then I had been waiting for a call where a friendly voice would say "Sir thank you for choosing HP Gas and we are at your doorstep with a gorgeous red cylinder, waiting for you to let us into your kitchen". HP Gas is marketed as "Your friendly Gas" and I guess that is why they have taken my registration as a friendly banter and laughed it away.
Not getting any response irked me, but New Year's Day was a good occasion to forgive and forget. The day began with me not being able to make any headway even after being just tenth in queue for AADHAR registration. After braving the tough winter chill, I still managed enough composure to walk in to the nearest Gas Agency (M/s Sabharwal Gas Agency) with the documents for registration. The moment I mentioned about the online registration, I got a quick reply crushing all my hopes of the reference number being acknowledged. My pressing need for a connection helped me ride that wave as well and I forwarded my papers for an offline registration. The documents got accepted without the KYC and I was told that KYC would be required afterwards. It sounded absurd but then I was happy as my documents were accepted. Before I could overcook my celebration, it was burnt in that very stove which was being sold to me forcefully. My refusal was initially met with indifference and then the Agency Manager looked at me as if to say "Boy...you have walked into the Lion's Den and you would live on my terms here". I tried to teach him that "paath" of rules and "customer is the king" funda. He didn't care though and told me that I had no option but to fall in line. I almost did and withdrew six grands strangely without any hassles from the ATM downstairs which usually remains defunct most of the times. I started climbing the stairs and one gaze at the crisp currency notes made my heart sink with the thought that I was about to seriously compromise my pending vacation. My first day of the new year ended with two more reference numbers, one for AADHAR and another for "Forced sale of stove/hotplate" with HP Gas.
For seven days, I kept waiting for a reply and moreover, the Customer Service number was perhaps a ghost number. Its 8th of January, 2013 and my request was finally closed. HP Gas, however,has managed to keep me guessing with their "Copy Paste Grievance Redressal System". Their reply was "By rule, no agency can forcefully sell the stove if the consumer already possesses an ISI approved one at home". As if I didn't know. I am alarmed at their Einstein-ism and amazingly, their complaint site, by default, has the issue of forced sale of stove as the first option in the dropdown. This seems to be the most common complaint and yet HP Gas is happy giving a free hand to its agencies. Lack of intent to act is as good profiteering. As for me, there are ofcourse other options but not holding a AADHAR card has almost changed my citizenship to a void one. And for that stupid number, I need to go back to the queue and hope that someday it will move. By the time, I am able to get out of this vicious circle, I guess my wife would have grown comfortable with the smoke from the "mud chulha" and I would have grown comfortable with the long queues outside coal shops. Tomorrow would be another attempt of mine to avoid all such circumstances and make our future full of energy as HPCL claims on its portal.
And yeah, as I wait to welcome a beautiful red Cylinder of my own into the kitchen, I have already spent three grands out of those six grands on food and movies...lol!!!
